1. Well they don't greet us with a theme song or opening logos, so that's a good start!
-1. The snowflakes are this detailed for only one establishing shot and nothing more.
1. Child acting.
2. "Reminding Me of Better Films I Could Be Watching Right Now Instead of This One" cliché.
3. Neither of these shots can decide how Grandpa George is supposed to sit.
4. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna stare out this window doing nothing 'til the transition ends."
5. Nice sunroof, but what are you going to do when it rains? I mean, it must be uncomfortable to drive with that thing closed.
6. Really? You had plenty more when you drove over here! And if you say that all these presents were for other towns, his truck is almost empty when he's delivering the package.
7. On that note, why is this package the only one that's not wrapped in Christmas paper?
8. 1,000,000 hours is 41,667 days, or 2,738 years. I highly doubt you've been waiting for Christmas that long.
9. Seriously? Over the course of a whole year? Or 2,738 years? That's disgusting!
10. Lenny forgot to wear his mouth in this shot.
11. This episode takes the "Conveniently Timed Commercial" cliché to a whole new level by having the TV turn on all by itself to play it.
12. Two weeks later, this toy would be recalled for a choking hazard.
13. Well, that's going to date the toy almost instantly.
14. Which I'm sure will play absolutely no part in this story whatsoever. Not a bit.
15. And this is why commercials should never be live.
16. Who's Billy? (Percy says "I don't know but he has more toys than me!") I see.
17. I don't think that's a title you'd want, seeing how your brother tried to kill three people in his "wiliness".
18. "Worst Christmas Ever" cliché.
19. Sure is hard to handwave a plot hole when you don't have any hands, isn't it?
20. Oh you've gotta be kidding me! I could tell these toys were 2D images even when I was five!
21. Sudden Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber from nowhere.
22. How could you infer that, seeing just a gate with skull and crossbones on it?
23. Oh, and real nice job protecting people from this dangerous, life-threatening bridge with only a single yard-long fence.
24. I'm still not fully convinced that this bridge will play any sort of important role in the plot later on. Could you please remind me of that bridge a few more times in the next five minutes so it's ingrained in my memory?
25. The fact that none of these guys question why this toy is alive.
26. This smart person is non-binary for the sake of leaving their gender a mystery to the audience.
27. ...for about five seconds.
28. And after you read them that story, then you just give it to them.
-28. I love how Louie only prepares three cups of hot cocoa, because, as we all know, toys don't drink.
28. And neither do vegetables for that matter.
29. They're so enthralled by this Christmas story as they're hearing it, yet, as soon as it's over, they're like "Wait, what? I don't get it. What was the point of all that?" On second thought, that sounds like every other Christmas story in the world to me.
30. Or at least everyone with a television that was on and tuned to that exact channel at the same time, which even in the era of TV channels in the two digits should be unlikely.
31. Can we make a game out of how many times they bring up this bridge? It's almost as if it's going to be essential to the plot later or something!
32. Excellent plan, Junior! Oh, and good luck climbing those insanely steep mountaintops on the way over without any proper mountain-climbing equipment. Or hands.
33. Any particular reason why Junior couldn't have told them on the way over here?
34. So our villain capitalizes on toy demand with a fair legitimate business, no strings attached. And what do our heroes do? Why, trespass into his private factory of course! Were the "Sunday morning values" on coffee break or something?
35. Let's just assume that the exact same people that saw the first TV commercial are watching TV right now, let alone the same channel.
36. Laura's mom loses half of her eyeliner in one blink.
37. Oh come on, George! I wanted to hear what Louie had to say! Geesh, what kind of stupid narrator would cut people off like that?
38. Mr. Nezzer is more concerned about people breaking into his TV studio than he is about the toy that he made inexplicably coming to life.
39. "Now if you'll excuse us, we'll just stare intently at this camera doing nothing until the plot catches up. Oh here it is!"
40. So what's the point of tying these kids up? Most of them don't have hands and the ropes are tied in such a way that they could just hop off the sled if they wanted to.
41. Wow, that town was actually part of the plot after all! Well, who would've guessed?
42. Oh, and that's decent punishment: "You trespass on my property, I throw you off a bridge!"
43. "Raah, we're gonna chew you out for nearly killing three of our children!" "Really?" "Nope, we're just gonna give you a teddy bear and ignore that we looked so angry five seconds ago. That's our poker face!"
44. Or you could just bail out. Nothing is stopping you from bailing out like you did last time.
45. Wait, what happened to all the knots in this rope?
46. Wink.
47. Well that one line of de-fence held up pretty well.
48. Whoa.
49. All of which are toy-sized negating their purpose.
50. As in the healings under the bed will eat you and turn you into poop.
Rack, Shack and Benny[]
1. 122 seconds of theme song.
2. Bob starts the show without the slightest glance to see if Larry was right next to him.
4. Larry outright states that his best friend is not cool.
5. This is the first time that one of Bob's letters conveniently coincides with the exact problem Larry is having at the moment.
6. Larry would never have thought that if it wasn't convenient to the plot.
7-8. One, that is racist to pickles. Two, "a pickle just like yours", because apparently being threatened the death sentence is exactly the same as possibly losing one friend.
9. Unless they own a vehicle that can easily just fly over the gate.
10. Like this girl who owns a vehicle that can easily just fly over the gate but is polite enough not to.
11. Also I'm sure the only reason this truck can fly is so the animators won't have to bother with wheels.
12. That's child labor.
13. Mr. Lunt is a coldhearted individual!
14. Yes, it is so tiring to just sit back and supervise as a fully-automated assembly line does all the work.
15. Rack eats the tables.
16-17. I'm not buying for a second that Bob, Larry and Junior are the same age in this world. Nor am I buying their uncanny ability to hover slightly above the ground.
18. There is no conceivable way for these boxes to close at the bottom without breaking the bunny.
-18. I'll give these animators credit. They're the only guys I know who can successfully animate the emotion of dawning fear on inanimate confectionery.
18. Can anyone make sense of this final stanza for me? Who's "they"? Are "they" your families that you're sending money to?
19. And if so, what do you mean by "They'll come and join us!"? Will they be working at the bunny factory too? And why is this worth looking forward to?
20. Yes, but how? What will change when "they" come to "join" you? I think there was something in the Bible story that wasn't translated very well here.
-20. Even assuming seven hour days, that's about 2,091 bunnies an hour or 35 bunnies a minute, or one bunny every two seconds which is exactly what the assembly line typically cranks out onscreen at any given time! Okay math, you win this round.
20. It's lines like this that makes me realize Mr. Nezzer is the only one here who's wearing any pants.
21. Disapparating bunnies.
22. Mr. Nezzer can afford a big screen extendable television but can't afford it in color.
23. Congratulations! Your factory has been open for less than five months!
24. But you can! It's called "walking out of your office!"
25. Has anyone ever heard of not throwing unfinished bunnies into the air for no good reason?
26. Baby Junior has had enough of Mom's nonsense.
27. Where are these hands going?
28. Choc-O-Late.
-28. Shack phases through a pole from nowhere.
28. Implying it won't pay off at all the next time!
29. Ah, now I gotta address the elephant in the room. The original version of "The Bunny Song" includes lines such as "I don't love my mom or my dad" and "I won't go to church and I won't go to school!" Such lines had to be removed in later versions of the episode because children started singing them in public despite this being the song they weren't supposed to sing. So I could sin the original version for writing such offensive lyrics to begin with or I could sin the newer versions for replacing the lyrics with such beautiful Wham lines as "I won't eat no beans and I won't eat tofu!".
30. These hands are holding a box and doing absolutely nothing with it.
31. The fact that these guys never take legal action against their boss for his threatening murder. See, this is the problem with retelling a Bible story in a modern time period.
32. Well, I would sue the manager, quit the factory job and pursue my real passion for Video Production but that's just me. Then why'd you even ask?
33. "Not like I gave you a choice in the matter of course!"
34. Nice troll move you guys, but you could've just said no and your intention would've been just as obvious.
35. Every employee lost the bunny emblem on their hats when they planted their faces in the sand.
36. (Rack saying "Benny, you don't have any arms.")
37. Mr. Nezzer clips through the pipe.
38. Unrealistically epic fail!
39. And I suppose we can't use these vats of chocolate anymore. Way to waste valuable resources in the name of killing three people who didn't want to sing a song.
40. Well that chase scene was entirely pointless.
-40. (Mr. Nezzer saying "My truck seems to be full of garbage!")
40. This bridge is missing a piece.
41. No, your exact words were "Can't let you cook my buddies!".
42. You said nothing about anyone else doing it and in this case, the laws of physic did the deed, not Mr. Nezzer.
43. Except for the legal system, if words get out that you murder people.
44. Here's a good lesson to teach your kids: Stand up for what you believe in and God will grant you complete immortality even if somebody throws you into the jaws of death! Logic will take a backseat for you to survive with no damage done.
45. Open dual-door here, closed singular door here, open hall with no door here.
46. Because when it's a Christian imposing their songs on people of a different religion, it's A-OK!
47. Uh Shack, you don't have any ears.
48. Every time I see a building dance, I have to wonder what it's like for the poor people inside.
49. Oh yeah, they kind of forgot about George after the silly song, didn't they?
50. Okay but then how do you get out?
51-53. (Larry mispronouncing "Thessalonians")
54. Note how he says "videos" and not "TV shows" like before. Self-promotion much?
55. Sure at least you've burned to a crisp in a fire for all your beliefs, but other than that, good feelings all around!
Josh and the Big Wall![]
1. 122 seconds of theme song.
2. Spoiler alert, he isn't. Unless you're talking about Larry as Joshua, though we clearly establish that this Larry is just a figment of Bob's imagination.
3. Darn it Victor! Never name the name of your oppressor on television! Now he's gonna do worse than hit you for epically snitching on him!
4. When do you not?
5. Editor's note: You know the countertop's going to explode in a few seconds because it looks suddenly less detailed in this shot. That's another sin!
6. Remember kids, when a grown man tells you to close your eyes and not open them until he says so, you should trust him without question.
7. Especially when feeling a strong wind and hearing crashing noises in the background.
8. Because that's exactly how imagination works!
9. Lens flare.
10. The same reason they were out in the middle of nowhere last time Junior. It's cheaper that way!
11. For the longest time, I always thought Bob said "You could throw things" and as a rebellious child the first time watching this, I found that notion incredibly awesome! "VeggieTales" inadvertently gives children a bad idea of paradise.
12. God's directions don't notably start at Egypt.
13. I see the set for "Madame Blueberry" snuck into this episode.
14. Self-referential narration.
15. "Yeah, yeah, keep rubbing salt into the wound, why don't ya?"
16. All these tents have the physics of a Pajama Sam click point.
17. And nobody else could clearly see this detail stopped Joshua from crashing into it.
18. Why? They don't seem to be doing anything wrong other than taunting you for your lack of offensive strategy. There is nothing in this adaptation that says the Jerichites and the Israelites can't live together peacefully.
19. What? "Our sauce is ripe!" Oh, so you're murderers. Okay.
20. I could have gathered as such without the narration Bob and frankly Junior probably could too.
21. Assuming the Red Sea is no longer a ginormous obstacle that needs divine intervention to pass.
22. Remember kids, if a strange man walks up to you in the middle of nowhere and says they're a messenger from God, take all their words to heart! I mean it's not like this man could be a spy from Jericho, out to make fools of the Israelites by encouraging them to do nonsense tasks. That's totally not something these guys would do!
23. Jimmy Gourd would be better at me than CinemaSins.
24. *sigh* What they said.
25. No, some creepy guy with a sword told you to do it this way and he could be aligned with anyone.
26. This irritating little song. Their words, not mine.
27. Despite the blast radius, none of these slushees splash anybody until they're offscreen.
28. What ears?
29. Of course he thinks it's a good idea, otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up!
30. The fact that it takes Bob this long to realize that Junior isn't right next to him anymore.
31. More instances of God defying all worldly logic in the name of proving that He exists, if only it were that simple nowadays.
32-42. Hold up a minute. Rewind to the opening. (Bob saying "Now in church, Victor just learned that God wants us to be nice to people even when they're not nice to us!") That's a fair moral value. I'll give them that but it makes what they're doing now absolutely hypocritical. I gather that the Jerichites aren't being nice to the Israelites by blocking off the Promised Land but really what's the worse of two evils? The group that blocks people off from a single patch of land or the group that knowingly takes away everything the other group has just worked for just to claim that patch of land for themselves?
43. All they had was slushy?
44. Jerry wore his eyes too high for this shot.
45-49. "WE WILL TEAR DOWN YOUR WALL AND YOUR EARDRUMS!!"
50. Don't worry guys, we had most of the Jerichites evacuated before the walls fell down. We're positive nobody got buried!
51. Their new home of endless dust and mountains of rubble. Welcome to the Promised Land, everybody!
52. What hands? What streets?
53. That depends. Did Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego really work at a chocolate factory?
54. How did the French Peas get all the way up there?
2. Okay, so I know I just said that they were vegetables, but if you want to be specific, both tomatoes and cucumbers are technically fruit. I'm not saying this to correct myself. I'm just pointing out the fact that a show called "VeggieTales" is hosted by fruit. But I guess that's an easy mistake. It's not like they have something crazy like bacon on the show.
3. Larry's wide open smile as the show opens.
4. The letter is big. I know that makes the scale seem a bit more accurate from an actual letter a child wrote to a tomato, but this is the only time this ever happens in the show.
5. Although Bob is reading the letter, you can hear a child's voice speaking it. Again, this is the only time in the show that this happens. Online video chat doesn't count.
6. Wow, that voice is pretty monotone, even for a six-year old.
7. Ooh.
8. When Bob announces the video, Larry bends down on where the camera panned on Bob, and Larry stares at what we can only assume is Bob's butt. If tomatoes have butts... which they don't. What is he staring at?
9. Your shadow says "Short scallion" but your voice says "Jimmy Gourd".
10. Also they are anthropomorphizing their machines in this world too apparently. That is clearly a face.
11. Not-Jimmy Gourd tells Frankencelery not to go near the door just as he opens the door.
12. Why does Frankencelery do this weird waddle walk when everybody else on the show just hops around?
13. The camera pans off the TV and onto Junior as we hear a voice in pain. What exactly is Frankencelery doing to that person? Er, vegetable? Fruit?
14. Junior Asparagus is clearly taking some pretty powerful hallucinations in order to have such vivid hallucinations!
15. Breaking and entering.
16. Did Bob and Larry just break through the ceiling? And if so, where are the scraps of woods and shingles and stuff that would come with it?
17. Bob claims he's here to help, but he does know what he's doing is breaking and entering, right? Even if he did magically come from the ceiling.
18. Did you hear that? Bob and Larry couldn't help but notice that a five-year old boy in his own house was a little bit frightened. I'm pretty sure there's some illegal activity going on here. You know, aside from the breaking and entering.
19. Unsatisfied with simply breaking and entering, they are now breaking the fourth wall.
20. Junior says he's not scared even though we clearly saw him scared. I know this isn't a sin on the movie's part, but that is a sin on Junior's part. I mean, lying is still in one of the Ten Commandments, am I right?
21. Bob and Larry clearly know that Junior is scared, so they're just kind of messing with him in this scene.
22. Junior's demands for them to sing would only later be one-upped by Mr. Nezzer in "Rack, Shack and Benny".
23. How are they controlling the lighting in this scene? And who's making the music in the background?
24. Song.
25. If Bob and Larry are truly trying to help Junior get over his fears, why are they starting off with a creepy-sounding song?
26. Whose eyes are those anyway? Are they just floating eyeballs or are those actual monsters in the closet? In which case, wouldn't that give Junior reason to be afraid?
27. How can Godzilla fit in the hall? He's a giant freaking monster who's bigger than Junior's whole house!
28. Who exactly is this hairy creature, and how is he casting shadows on the wall?
29. How are the tiny monsters phasing through a door? Are they using the same magic that Bob and Larry used to fall come the ceiling?
30. Also, "VeggieTales" poster near the pajama cabinet.
31. God doesn't choose teams. If two people fight, He doesn't root for one of them. Or is he talking about the battle against Satan? Which he didn't clarify that, so this could be kind of confusing for a younger audience.
32. Was Frankencelery just waiting on the roof of the house the whole time for Bob to cue him to come in?
33. This is the same sound effect used from when Junior was hallucinating about his family portrait. Because using cliched sound effects once wasn't enough.
34. Song. It's the same song as the last one.
35. Where did Bob, Larry, Frankencelery and the monsters go? Were they just in Junior's head the whole time?
36. Was that "VeggieTales" poster in the background supposed to suggest that, in this fictional story in the fictional universe of VeggieTales, "VeggieTales" exists as a fictional show? I don't know if that's worth giving a sin or taking a sin away, so I say we just leave the sin count the way it is.
37. Extra sin for not having a sin for "The Water Buffalo Song". Judging by this scene, as well as the events of "The End of Silliness?", we can assume that Archibald has at least some sort of creative control over "Silly Songs with Larry". And if that's the case, and if he really does oppose "The Water Buffalo Song" as much as he acts like... Why did he ever let it get this far into production in the first place?
38. Narration.
39. So who exactly is this narrator? I mean, basically every other character from this episode has returned in later episodes, except for the narrator.
40. And why couldn't Bob have done narration? I mean, he's not in this story so he could very easily have done the narration. He is the host of this show after all, isn't he?
41. Song.
42. I see they took the easy route and just chose to reuse Mozart for this song.
43. King Darius demands an interpretation of his dream to his three wisemen and gets angry when they don't give him one, but why is he getting angry in the first place? He never gave them any of the details of his dream. They just got there. Unless they're supposed to be psychic or something, which is never brought up so I think this is a sin on king Darius's part.
44. Daniel squashes his face against the camera and yet the camera itself does not move from its original position.
45. We interrupt this song to bring you more narration!
46. So Daniel is able to explain the dream to Darius, and we can assume by the footage that Darius is giving him the details of the dream. Doesn't that kind of give Daniel a bit of an unfair advantage over the three wisemen since they literally knew nothing about Darius's dream at all?
47. But there's three of them! Did each of them want to be number 2 more than the other two? Or do all three of them think that they can just share the number 2 spot?
48. Ah, so I see Frankencelery isn't the only one who does a waddle walk, but still, aside from Frankencelery and this one scene, this is the only time that any vegetable or fruit in any episode of VeggieTales does a waddle walk.
49. Song, again.
50. If all three of them knew what the other ones were going to say, why didn't they all just say it in unison? Or for that matter, why didn't one of them just say it? Maybe they are psychic!
51. Narrator again. Third time by the way.
52. Song, again. This is a musical apparently.
53. Do any of the characters on this show have knees? And a lot of the characters, like Bob for example, are nothing but a head.
54. Oh, now the narrator gets a song.
55. Boy, that is one flimsy fourth wall that you continue to break!
56. The smallest wiseman has to carry Daniel from his backside... with his head. I'm pretty sure that's height-cist.
57-65. No you cannot! You were just carried away from your house, or what we can only assume was about a mile or so. You're facing away from the direction you came! You're not on a mountaintop or anything like that. You're not being elevated by much, if at all, by being carried by the scallions. And on top of that, you are facing a pit of lions! You. DO. NOT. SEE. YOUR. HOUSE!
66. Phone call? In B.C. Babylon?
67. I don't know why Daniel would be afraid of being eaten by lions after surviving a fall like that. He's clearly invincible.
68. Lion puns.
69. Or maybe they'll choose to lie on him after he's dead? Or maybe even lie on top of him in order to kill him?
70. Daniel's song is just a variation of a song that the wisemen sang.
71. The narrator singing, again.
72. Where exactly is that hole? Is it the same hole that the wisemen just covered with a rock? And if that's the case, why didn't Daniel just climb out? I mean, even if it's a different hole, he still probably could've found a way to get out if he really wanted to.
73. Okay so the wisemen are partying and having a good time, but where exactly are they? This looks an awful lot like the lions' den to me.
74. By the time everybody shows up to the lions' den, the rock they put in front of the hole has been moved. Who moved it?
75. Well now that's just silly. Lions don't have opposable thumbs! How could they make the pizza? Unless they called in for delivery on the phones that they clearly had back in B.C. times. And if they did order delivery, was it the pizza delivery guy who moved the rock out of the way of the pit? Because that would answer one question, but it would raise too many other questions so we still have to sin this.
76. Dang it! Why are there so many songs in this?
77. Oh yeah, I almost forgot this all takes place on a countertop. How do they get all those sets for those stories, then? Do they use green screen? And... wouldn't that get rid of Larry? So... blue screen, maybe?
78. I'm sorry but that's not a recipe for meatloaf, so much as just a list of things you will need for meatloaf. It doesn't have any cooking instructions at all whatsoever!
79. Also, recipe for meatloaf? Is that where living food comes from? I thought that when a mother tomato and a father tomato... No, never mind.
Larry-Boy! and the Fib from Outer Space![]
1. Over two minutes of theme song.
2. So you started your show with no actual plan, in the vain hope your seemingly existent live audience would have a good question.
3. Man, this episode is old!
4. They're being so vague about Ezzio's crime here. I mean, he had to have done something at least PG-13 if they're glossing over exactly what he did like this.
5. Of course you wouldn't! You're never going to know everything that happens in Junior's life. No matter how hard you try to know.
6. Regardless, Larry is a jerk for leaving Bob in the dark here both figuratively and literally!
7. Bumblyburg apparently has a severe poisonous fog that is never brought up in the episode.
8. That's less a "part" and more just the entire plot of the movie.
9. What exactly created the fib from outer space? I understand he's a lie taken physical form, but what science-fiction nonsense allows lies to do that here? If there was no such nonsense, I can only assume the moral of the story was "Don't lie or else giant blue aliens will come down and destroy your city!".
10. "You Never See Anything You Want to See Even Though You Would Totally See It If We Weren't Trying to Make a Joke" cliché.
11. Good thing it was a particularly cloudy night tonight or else this signal would have been worthless!
12. Alfred's floating bowtie
13. Cruelty to butlers!
14. Way to protect people from crashing into the LarryCave with just a single yard-long fence. Woah, dèjá vu!
15. The meteor goes from totally visible to indistinguishable from the stars for no good reason aside from a clever shot.
16. Also if that meteor was that small the whole time, how could it ever have been visible from this far away?
17. This does not look like a house that could hold two floors, but lo and behold, there's the staircase!
18. Who stacks their books like this? They're pretty much asking for the books to fall over onto whatever's right next to them.
19. As opposed to all those bowlers that never rolled a ball!
20. Junior thinks he can easily climb these shelves without proper shelf-climbing equipment.
21. Well I wouldn't say that was entirely Junior's fault. The books probably would have fell eventually whether Junior tipped the shelf or not.
22. Laura is a bad friend for fleeing from the crime scene!
23. How did the Fib get into Junior's house?
24. Also why was he hiding behind Mr. Snuggly while talking to Junior? Was he just messing with him? Kinda defeats the purpose when you're trying to come off as a friend.
25. He breaks into your house and that's your reply? I mean, it's better than how you react to Bob and Larry showing up in your room but your ignorance to stranger danger is still sin-worthy here.
26. The plate mysteriously vanishes offscreen.
27. You know it'd be easier to come up with a lie if you didn't try to write a song around it at the same time.
28. Junior's line was cropped very poorly in this shot.
29. Junior flees from home with a guy he just met all without his parents knowing.
30. I doubt if that's safe for the peach to just be standing in the middle of the road like that. Or, is he sitting?
31. Except for, you know, talking produce so that's a given.
32. And in a world of talking produce, most of which being green, that's not very notable.
33. What, you're just going to ignore the blue blob that's clearly not a fruit or vegetable that's hiding behind the asparagus? Alright, 'you'll regret this' and all that jazz...
34. Fool them once, shame on you! Fool them the second time with a completely different story and you might as well consider a career in politics!
35. No, all Junior said was "He gave it to A crocodile." For all you know, Lenny went all the way to a freaking swamp to break this plate!
36. Well they're more feet than legs.
37. He says while a giant blue blob with feet should be in his line of sight.
38. (Laura, Lenny and Percy start talking at once) Whoa, whoa, wait! Slow down! One at a time! I can't hear what all of you are saying.
39. Okay but... where's the motive? I understand Laura or Lenny. They could just be jerks but why would aliens go out of their way all the way down to Earth just to break a single plate?!
40. Really? Even the part about them breaking a plate? Was that really all there was to their plan or was it just a goofy thing they did on their side? Now I'm genuinely curious since this is an actual possibility in their universe!
41. And this is the point where the whole metaphor for lying kind of dies out in favor of mindless destruction.
42. Drive away, drive away, drive away... (Scooter hops out of his police car) Okay sure do that.
43. Candyland
44. "Alfred, you're showing me the blank side of the card there. Turn it around, it's not like there's an audience looking at the other side!"
45. Irony.
46. So how did you not hear any of this until just now?
47. Or you could just drive up to the bump and walk from there. You're really making a bigger deal of this than you should be!
48. So wait. You put the car alarm - on a switch - where the gearshift should be. Seems legit!
49. That is a waste of perfectly good wheels.
50. According to Alfred's monitor, it's still daytime.
51. Even with the magic of 1997 internet, what research could Alfred have done to possibly learn this? Nobody knows anything about this monster except for the internet for some reason.
52. Yeah, what was your plan again? Just bash face-first into the problem and hope that kills it?
53. The polygons on Alfred's monocle
54. Oh yeah! I forgot this story centered around Junior and not... you know... the title character.
55-64. Are we just going to gloss over the fact that Junior basically kills someone? I mean, metaphor for a deadly sin or not, Junior kills someone. And nobody cares because monster.
65. That's not Gail Freeman.
66. No, no, it's really not.
67. "Yeah I know this signal means the city needs me, but I'm just gonna stand and stare at it for a while in the name of a dramatic shot and all. No hard feelings if Bumblyburg's in any real danger right now."
68. This is literally the same shot as the last fib's entrance only mirrored and in a different color.
69. Nowhere near QWERTY here. Suddenly in front of QWERTY here. (with no walking/hopping between shots)
70. There is very minimal reason to split this verse up!
71. Oh yeah! I totally forgot this show was about God. Way to only bring Him up when there's five seconds left in the video!
72. Freedom equals servitude.
73. Bob can read this.
74. Lies!
75. As long as he's not staring at signals or playing Candyland.
76. He's a cucumber. He even says so in the record name!
77. Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Ironman, the Powerpuff Girls...
78. This clip expresses why Larry-Boy is not good as a superhero but it makes its way into the music video anyway.
Are You My Neighbor?[]
1. Loving your neighbor means tolerating their two-minute theme song for over 22 years!
2. So why is Larry wearing the shoe now? Don't they usually wait until after the countertop sequence to change?
3. And on that note, they always keep alternating between whether these stories are live or pre-recorded in relation to the countertop. Make up your mind!
4. Even more reason why they should have changed offscreen like they always do. Literally the only reason is why they didn't this time was so the countertop would have a punchline.
5. Yeah I suppose that's a decent explanation for the lack of plant life anywhere.
6. Look down? Your two towns are about the same height!
7. Speaking of height, I think the altitude got to everyone's heads seeing how they go to war over something as trivial as the best headgear.
8. Breaking the rhyme scheme in the name of a one-off joke.
9. Wait, but you just said "Two tiny towns that were nothing but trouble." This is noticeably something but trouble!
10. I get the feeling they forgot to animate Larry's mouth here. He's got this big unmoving grin that he keeps for the entire shot even when it doesn't fit.
11. That's racist to squid!
12. Hey, more of that "Forgetting to Animate His Mouth" action!
13. All was well until suddenly, the sky gave up!
14. "We hit the jackpot, guys! A whole penny! Guess our work here is done."
15. Larry noticeably does not moan.
16. Which conveniently picks up now, just for the joke to work, before disappearing once more.
17. The lobster is a bad friend.
18. You have time to sing how busy you are, yet you don't take that time to just pull this guy out of the hole?
19. She says, before stopping to stand and chat.
20. Also they take the time to talk to each other about how busy they are, but they don't take that time to get back to their businesses and/or just pull this guy out of the hole?
21. Still not animating their mouths.
22. You're not even real mayors or nurses, are you?
23. You had time to set up a freaking disco ball! Stop lying to yourselves, you lazy excuses for lazy excuses! No, no I give up.
24. They didn't put their mouths in at all in this shot!
25. The nurse hangs a blank line on her wall because she's too busy to sign her name on it.
26. No, no. There really isn't. Your only defining characteristic in this story is your headgear!
27. Who are you singing to?
28. They still need to work on their throw. Gifts never seem to reach to the other town.
29. "And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry-" skip.
30. The exhaust of the spaceship doesn't set Junior's carpet on fire.
31. If you've been through this before, then why do you need a reintroduction as if last time never happened?
32. How does he eat while he's wearing his helmet? Apparently the chocolate just phases through it somehow as Larry nibbles on one side to swing it off the other.
33. Does anyone else see something wrong with the namesake of a ship filled with vegetables being mashed fruit?
34. Incoming meteor here, no meteor here.
35. Minoring in aerospace? Gee, I wish I made that much life progress in preschool!
36. Trademarks.
37. I forgive the breaking and entering since we're kind of in a life-or-death situation here, but I draw the line at evidence-less kidnapping!
38. Also the fact that Junior's parents don't hear any of this.
39. Ya think?
40. Something about this music makes me wanna write an angry conservative letter...
41. Well that was a stupid design choice!
42. Also, the captain has his own mini-ship complete with shrinker beam. Why don't we just have more of those for escape? Or even better: We use the shrinker beam to fit more people in the escape pods!
43. Yeah, not like those baby meteors made of solid rock or scrap metal. Popcorn is the most lethal substance in the world!
44. How does Scooter ever balance on this leafy nub? No wonder this is the only episode he has it! Heck, this is the only shot he has it!
45. Well that's condescending.
46. Jerry is missing his headset in this shot. And don't tell me he took it off just to put it back on before the next shot!
47. Grab the gourds.
48. Jimmy and Jerry were brought into the battlefield with no knowledge of what mission they had to accomplish whatsoever. Don't believe me? That said, how did the Applepies crew expect the gourds to even approach the meteor, let alone decide to eat it?
49. What, that two gourds could eat an entire meteor over 100 times their size in less than two minutes? Why would I not?
50. Bob panics so hard he slides back into the shot and pops away before running again.
51-52. Okay, so maybe the gourds got carried away and ate their escape pods with the popcorn. My question is, How can they breathe? And how can we hear them?
53. Setting a good example for kids there, aren't ya?
54. No wait, that's not a table. That's a Klondike bar with legs!
55. Also, how is it standing with one leg completely gone?
56. Obligatory Inconsistent Lighting Sin Incoming... Warned ya.
57. Yeah, why didn't you think of that?
58. Who are these boys?
59. The microphone dances.
60. More trademarks.
61. Awkwardly spinning all the way around the Applepies for no clear reason aside from a dramatic shot! They could've just made a straight shoot for Junior's house right about... here.
62. Oh, so now dad hears the loud noises in Junior's bedroom.
63. Children's imaginations.
64. How do you even do that? You're in an airtight dome with no windows while you're driving.
65. Why do you need land directions when you're flying into outer space? Unless they're talking about them getting back to the countertop, in which case, how far into this "Show Within a Show" logic are we really? Is this just a play, or is it actually happening, and we're actually following an oblivious child with 1,000 secret cameras? And now that I think about it, this scenario would explain why Junior's parents don't notice any kidnapping as they probably approved the studio to let this show happen. But the fact that none of this is actually made clear at any point in "VeggieTales" is still a sin.
66. Paying road tolls when you're in a tiny flying spaceship.
67. This verse is actually "Leviticus 19:18b". They kinda dropped out the part about revenge in the name of their own context.
68. The text on QWERTY's screen mysteriously vanishes but the background does not.
God Wants Me to Forgive Them!?![]
1. By this point, I'd forgive the two-minute theme song but just because you forgive a sin, that doesn't mean that the sin no longer exists. Keep that in mind as we continue!
2. The unimaginable conflict of balls rolling balls.
3. Because being a classic justifies reading depressing adult literature to small children.
4-6. How did the grapes get past this tiny cliff? How are they flying? Why does this shadow suddenly disappear?
7. Pa and Ma's glasses clip through their noses.
8. There's "Shaky Cam" and then there's "Everything Shaking in Different Directions Around a Still Cam". This is far more disorienting.
9. The wheels sink into the sand.
10. Well, that eye is dead. The seed went right into his eye and now he's half-blind. Thanks Tom!
11. Oh look, he escaped! Guess you guys aren't so cranky after all.
12. Somehow, this does not break their car.
13. Using random and arbitrary words a clever insult does not make, you seizure gas station playground nugget lords!
14. Eh-eh-eh, Cabbage Nose Elvis Bulldog. Also, that's racist to cabbages!
15-18. Three sins in advance for all the needless closeup shots this episode.
19. Either Rosie is a tiny flying fairy godparent or her left pigtail has a mind of its own and is stretching out to hug this log. These are my only two reasonable explanations for this apparent layering error.
20. Aspara-fro... which Junior's eyes happily clip through.
21. Well that's a morbid thought for a world of talking produce. Good thing the French Peas don't exist yet!
22. Wells, jeepers Larry.
23. "Junior's dad heard him laughing..." but didn't hear his son crying first. Priorities?
24. Dad's disco tie.
25. Using narration as an excuse to avoid writing natural dialogue.
26. You're probably in your 70s and you've only just now taught that teasing is wrong?
27. Insert Sideshow Bob clip here.
28. Physics, what are they?
29-30. The grapes laugh at a child that nearly suffocated in sand. Said laugh is a pair of two-second loops.
31. That fourth wall.
32. So Larry's the one telling the story, right? How does it suddenly become self-aware and start defying the narrator?
33. All they did was laugh! Even for a five-year old, that cruelty's pretty tame.
34. Rosie's not looking directly at the camera in this shot. I know that sounds like a weird sin out of context but the narrator is directly talking to them right now so the least they can do is look at him.
35. The simple answer should be "For as long as you live" but they manage to drag this out for another minute or so.
36-38. First of all, you don't know the context of this verse! For all you know, Jesus could be talking about how many times He's gonna die. Secondly, other versions of the Bible say to forgive people 77 times. I just assume we're going to ignore those versions because this number is bigger. Third, I'm pretty sure Jesus was speaking hypothetically here. Again, forgive people enough times that you can't count the blessings. Please don't try to put actual math into forgiveness! You'll just open yourself to a bad time when I reach your 491st sin.
39. They're called calculators. Even QWERTY should have that feature!
40-45. ...
46. Jumping into the car without opening the door because that's safe.
47. Hey, this isn't a silly song!
48. No, I don't remember doing any of this stuff.
49. Why would you even purchase a product from a company called "Wrong-co"?
50. How do you dial up a sin? I'm pretty sure there's enough sin in the world that you can't abridge it all in 13 times.
51-52. Are you just reading that off a cue card? With your eyes covered by a hat?
53. The moral of the story is: Never hang Earth's strongest knives from a ceiling prop! There will be injuries!
54. Trademarks.
55. The salesman is left in a pitch black room because the lighting guy was feeling particularly cruel that day. Good thing the knives mysteriously vanished or the salesman would probably be dead!
56. Did you really need to ask that question? I mean, what else would you do in this video about forgiveness? And if the kids didn't really want to listen, they could just stop the video.
57. This needlessly convoluted camera pan.
58. I guess the smiley sun from the last segment was on coffee break that day.
59. Bob's death-defying eye twitches.
60. I mean, we would have made the "Gilligan's Island" parody complete but that would have required making entirely new characters, and we're pushing it through with Archibald's wife as it is!
61. Archibald pokes his eye out with his wife's hat.
62. Miraculously calm ocean today, isn't it? I mean if it weren't for this one boat, these waters wouldn't be moving at all!
63. Wait, which one of you is steering? Seeing how none of you have kinds, it's kind of ambiguous. I could assume the boat's just steering itself by now.
64. We probably shouldn't be able to hear the whale's cries this clearly. I mean they're kind of under a really thick blanket of ice right now.
65. Also, how did they even get into this position? My only conclusion is that they were jumping into the water face-first and the ocean just instantaneously froze over in a millisecond while they were doing it!
66. No, I'm pretty sure he's here to call you a freaking lunatic for endangering the crew. Both inside and outside the fantasy!
67. Produce eating produce.
68. Aah.
69. Shouldn't have said that! Hi, Murphy's Law.
70. Bob does have a point! Maybe Larry should put in some effort to solve this problem instead of just "sorry"ing everything away. But no, that's not the point of this episode so that'll never be addressed.
71. Depression.
72. Probably in bed, seeing how I assume you just woke up.
73. (quoting King George and the Ducky) YOU GUYS ARE NOT SO BRIGHT!
74. How did Bob get all the way up here?
75. And hope we don't get caught in sharp winds or crash into seagulls or anything else that would otherwise change our trajectory and leave us stranded in the middle of the ocean.
76. Look. See that curve? Even the model catapult can't be trusted!
77. Hourglass mouth.
78. Bob comfortably stands/sits on an off-center bamboo stick without falling on himself.
79. "Gee, it sure feels good to blah blah moral of this episode!"
80. Objects smashing into the camera don't get brushed away but instead completely vanish.
81. Bob and the rest conveniently find Larry at this shore by pretty much going in a straight line while if Larry were at the opposite side of the island, he'd pretty much be gone by the time they find him. It would've been more practical to just split up!
82. This is not how sailboats work.
83. Also, Larry could've built this raft bigger and took everyone off the island with him actually taking initiative to make up for his mistake. But again, that's not the point of this episode so we're just going to ignore that detail.
84. Oh come on, he's not that far away!
85. No, I'm pretty sure this is a different tree. The fact that it has a face should probably tip you off.
86. Floating coconuts.
87. Small thing but Bob's eyes are detached from his nose in this shot.
88. Palmy clips himself with his leaves.
89-98. I MADE IT ENTIRELY OUT OF BAMBOO AND COCONUTS!!! No, impossible. Highly improbable! Too silly. Shocking and slightly embarrassing.
Esther... The Girl Who Became Queen[]
1. Oh hey, I guess you finally had the courage to skip the theme song this time! You know, I honestly cannot see why people think this is a problem.
-1. Who are you?
1. In the dead of night, the queen's bedroom is the only room in the entire castle with their lights turned off because... plot.
2-5. Literally 56 seconds into this movie and we are greeted with unwarranted divorce, unemployment and potential hair loss for sleeping on curlers! All for refusing to make a freaking midnight sandwich.
6. And then kick her out when she doesn't want to make you a sandwich at 3 a.m. Such is the great circle of royalty.
7. Trains, what are they?
8. I doubt anyone in B.C. times would have known that A.D. time was going to exist.
9-20. Esther has irises and according to half the VeggieTales fandom, irises are apparently the worst thing for any VeggieTales character to have... ever. And I am sorry but considering how clear the seriousness of this topic, I cannot make any exceptions. I hope you all understand!
21-23. This door is recycled from "King George and the Ducky". Ah, speak of the devil, there's an ad for that episode! And an ad for the StuffMart despite the fact that it doesn't exist yet.
24. Mordecai never directly answers this question.
25. Never specifying why the queen was fired so history can safely repeat itself.
26. No one sees any problem with a shady businessman luring girls into the back of a truck.
27. Respectable grown-up conversations.
28. Shoulder pads are so practical for a girl who doesn't have shoulders.
29. Because the king said so and not complying means eternal banishment.
30. I can assume more than one girl from Babylon was forced to be in this contest, so if they're classifying these girls by town now, there had to have been some elimination rounds before this. That said...
31. Why does Esther not know the rules by now?
32-33. Actually, Esther's the one who didn't plan anything so you could just disqualify her right here and now to save face. It's not your fault all the contestants are an embarrassment. Half of them were being forced to do this!
34. How does the orchestra know what song Esther's gonna sing?
35. Wow, her singing voice is beautiful! Almost as if it's done by a completely different person.
36. Contestant 38 wins! And let's just ignore all the other participants who didn't sing yet but could still probably do better. We'll never know now.
37. Mister, there are only two people in the audience and neither of them are ladies.
38. Whoop, never mind! We suddenly have enough for a full paparazzi now because... atmosphere!
-38. Larry, typically the wittiest character in the series, plays the part of a near-voiceless scribe.
38-39. Seeing how the Peaoni brothers apparently had ample time to set this whole trap up, I doubt the palace guards are doing their job right. And the murder weapon is a piano because I guess giant anvils weren't hip in the days of ancient Persia.
40. Well except for that one girl we just fired but... she's an outlier.
41. You wouldn't have said it like that if it wasn't a reference.
42. In an effort to censor the death penalty, Big Idea comes up with something even more terrifying! Ain't censorship grand?
43. The right hand wall renders too late.
44. As opposed to a tomato-shaped sarcophagus.
45. What does I.P.T have to do with banishment?
46. You know, I'm honestly surprised it took this long for the show to make a toilet joke.
47. Queenie Poo, the second instance of toilet humor on this show.
48. Too late for that king. The card's already been picked!
49. Haman's a-card-ian.
50. Well for one thing, you're banishing him and his whole family.
51. Larry takes so much pleasure in slamming the door in Haman's face.
52. 17 silent seconds of pointless establishing shots!
53. We never actually see this parade. Joke opportunity wasted!
54. Wait, where was this authority when the last queen got fired?
55. No.
56. So would that make the queen number 3? I don't think that's how royalty works. Or should work...
Larry-Boy and the Rumor Weed[]
1. Oh, you guys couldn't go one more episode without a "Created by" credit, could you?
2. So how many of you watched "The Fib from Outer Space!" before watching this episode? To those of you who haven't and are really freaking confused right now, don't worry because all this vague continuity is entirely pointless to the plot.
3. He says to a stranger.
4. Does that mean you only ever drink milk on Mondays?
5. Also, this robber goes around stealing people's milk money when it'd be much more efficient to swipe their theater funds instead! I mean, I don't know how expensive theater tickets were at the time this show was made, but I'm sure it was more expensive than milk.
6. Implying that hanging people upside down off the edge of a building is any better.
7. I counted 37 cents in this pile meaning you're 91 cents too short.
8. There is no physical way that these two backdrops can be the same billboard.
9. Assaulting police cars.
10. Alfred can get this POV shot of Larry-Boy without a physical camera. For that matter, Larry-Boy is starring at a nonexistent camera.
11. What kind of vegetable is this lady supposed to be?
-11. For the first, and seemingly only time in VeggieTales history, we witness the actual creation of walking, talking produce. I never thought we'd be given a legit science-fictional explanation for it but here we are.
11. So yes, there is a theme song but it's short enough that I can let it slip by without a sin. Moving right along...
12. Wanna save money on animation? Just leave us in total darkness for a while and use the setting as a punchline!
13. Had it not been for that one snowy day in February, the whole crisis of this episode could have been avoided.
14. Now why would anyone want to use the same voice clip twice in a row?
15. This does not look like a house that could hold two floors, but lo and behold... Oh, I'm sorry. I got the wrong script. What shot is this episode from again?
16. Balls playing with balls.
17. There's gotta be something wrong with vegetables cooking meat. I mean, granted it's not technically cannibalism - yet.
18. Dad Carrot has evolved from "Jimmy Gourd voice" to "Incomprehensible Egyptian" since "The Toy That Saved Christmas".
19. Alfred's miscolored cap.
20. Why does this line give me chills?
21. As much as I appreciate cheap jokes about a superhero's paper-thin secret identity, we still need to look back and find that the mayor contacted Alfred, so Alfred could get Larry, so Larry could get Larry-Boy. Why can't Alfred just get Larry-Boy directly?
22. Gee, that danger sign is so helpful. Who knows how many people would've crashed into a giant wall without it?
23. This disco lighting is completely impossible. Give "Flibber-o-Loo" some credit! At least they didn't pretend the sky was a solid wall.
24. Why would Larry-Boy go all the way into some random person's yard to catch a weed when he should know there's one hiding right behind his mansion?
25-29. Attempting murder.
30. Also, nobody is shocked that the city's superhero is just sorta in their backyard.
31. Just spelling out that metaphor for all those 3 to 8-year olds who didn't get it yet.
32. Alfred's got a close eye on Junior. His plot convenience levels have become too high to ignore.
33. Why are you so happy to sing with the guy that's holding your hero captive?
34. Boo.
35. Gee, what a mystery! It's not like she spelled it out for you in song form already.
36. Don't tell rumors kids or you'll be responsible for the destruction of a major city. Best moral ever!
37. Oh you know, I'm just gonna lay back on this expensive machinery and assume I don't press anything. It'll be as fun as the time I sat on my laptop!
38. Wasting perfectly good wheels and a perfectly good bumper.
39. "Red Buttons is Bad" cliché.
40. Except it isn't. Alfred's just withholding information about his plan because apparently he likes watching Larry-Boy think he's going to die.
41. The LarryMobile must have some pretty sweet insurance if these guys are so willing to throw away parts willy-nilly.
42. Well if that's your definition of a soft landing, what would "too hard" have looked like?
43. Man, if only there was a giant hole in the wall, the transmission could seep through. I mean, if it could get through rock and soil just fine before.
44. Plot convenient sewer lighting.
45. Seriously? Is "I Can Be Your Friend" the only thing that ever plays on Bumblyburg's radio?
46. Wow, this is the most racially diverse cast of characters we've ever had on this show! Now, let's never do it again.
47. A "shiny metal head" that you've only ever seen him wear today. Seriously Alfred, just take the helmet off and they'll believe you!
48. Yes, just walk closer to the dangerous robot with laser eyes. Leave yourself even more open to his wrath. That'll make us safe!
49. Implying there can't be British robots.
50. Mysteriously appearing bandage.
51. No lipstick.
52. Dad Asparagus is the only sensible one in this entire city.
53. No shadows here, shadows here.
54. Who are you talking to? Junior and Laura, or us? I ask because this is the only shot where you are staring directly at the camera.
55. There you go again, not bringing up God until the very last minute. That's gonna frustrate half your audience!
56-65. Actual murder.
66. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you nearly killed us all!
Noah's Ark[]
1. This episode exists.
2. While I'm not horrified by these "In the House" redesigns as other people seem to be, I have to wonder why Big Idea decided to carry them over to the original show. I can imagine a child watching this right next to "Beauty and the Beet" and wondering why everyone looks so different.
3. Correction: HOW in the world did he bring an elephant onto the countertop? Imagination? Then how come he didn't wait to summon the elephant after the countertop? Actually, scratch that because the episode starts on the typical cry of "Roll film!". So why do we need these animals in the first place if they already have a film made? Did they just come back to watch?
4. I don't know if this was intentional or just coincidence that the first post-House VeggieTales video had a message about trusting God's plan. It's like the writers are saying "Hey! You don't like the redesigns? Well screw you! These redesigns are what God wants, so we're sticking to it regardless of how much you complain!"
5. So you're just taking offense to this now? I thought after the chocolate bunny factory, slushy bombs, pie wars, islands of perpetual tickling, dodgeballs, tubas and amusement parks, you'd just be numb to all these revisions!
6. These two new characters only exist to have special guest star voices clog their windpipes.
7. (quoting Lord of the Beans) You can't even reach the pedals! How are you doing that?
8. Because it'd be rude if he didn't. You're two people. Two people would need two swings! It's basic logic!
9-12. But no, let's use this opportunity to sing a song about pairs! Does it contribute to the plot? No. Does it teach a valuable lesson? No. Is it at least funny? No! Then I have to say it's soundtrack fodder.
13. Oh. Oh, that's great. You redesign all your main characters beyond recognition but the penguins, pigs, dogs and camels can stay. That's wonderful!
14. Get it? It's a reference to the song from the 90s! That's automatically funny!
15. Gee, venting much, Mr. (Mike) Nawrocki?
16. Because apparently all women need to be gentle and this accident just made the carrot less of a woman. "Noah's Ark: A Lesson in Arbitrary Gender Roles!"
17. Remember kids, it's perfectly safe to jump on fast-moving girders, especially when they're being controlled by this girl as long as you're wearing a hardhat.
18. I take it hardware stores were pretty small in 2500 B.C.
19. Seriously, I've been home for 5 minutes and I don't recognize any of you. Mom, didn't you have a French accent before I left?
20. Our whole world's going to be destroyed in just a few days! That makes me a little rattled.
21-25. Well, way to be blunt about all the genocide in this story. VeggieTales: The only preschool show with a body count over 2 million!
26. And now, let's sing a happy song about the perfectness of God's world just a few days before He completely destroys it.
27. It's funny because poop.
28. But I'll be honest. Selling the ark like a cruise ship was pretty cool and it's the kind of creativity I've come to expect from the show at this point. But I still wonder how you sell gym equipment and karaoke machines to a bunch of non-anthro animals? Still a sin but the fun kind of sin that I actually enjoy.
29. And that's poop joke number 2. Oh now I'm doing it! Alright, no more poop jokes. That is my duty!
30. Roll credits.
31. I'm not actually going to skip the silly song this time because unfortunately there's not much silly here to skip and that's just sad.
32. Making us feel bad for not watching this on Easter.
33. They're particularly careful not to give Junior any lines for this song, almost as if there would be too many jimmies to rustle of he spoke too loud.
34. I don't think a metal detector will help you find plastic eggs, Larry.
35. Cruelty to imaginary snakes.
36. This supposedly rare golden egg is in very plain sight on top of a small hill. Makes you wonder how it took so long for anyone to find it.
37. Really? We need to learn about sharing here? I understand you want to remind us you're still a Christian show, but not during the silly songs please.
38. One. One bird.
39. Genesis 4:7a. God DOES tell Noah when the floods would start, so why didn't Noah just tell the rest of the family? The only reason I could think of is so they could make this scene work.
40. No lipstick.
41. Oh, you thought the rising rain would be enough for drama? No! Let's throw in lightning strikes and randomly exploding geysers because if God's going to destroy the world, He might as well give it some flair.
42. Sorry, that's not water. That's the second coming of the Smooze. To be fair though, nothing can stop the Smooze.
43. Of all the leaks to strike through the ship, how come these giant glass windows are always perfectly fine? Aren't they the most fragile thing on the surface of this ship?
44. Oh, so now you let the family in on God's timeline, but not while they're doubting it. I think there's a message in there somewhere.
45. That was easy!
46. Lens flare.
47. Okay I'll give them some credit. Their umbrella patterns actually match up with the pattern of Noah's umbrella in "Minnesota Cuke". However, where they don't match up is the ark itself.
48. They steal the "almost squashed by an elephant mid-song" joke from The Lion King.
49. Alright, can we stop with the juvenile poop humor? I always knew this episode was full of it, but this is ridiculous.
50. Hey, I see what you're doing back there and joke's on you! The story of Jonah hasn't happened yet.
51. Even after the redesign, Bob is still excellent at CinemaSins.
52. Well, how do we know this isn't part of God's plan? And don't say "because He hasn't spoken" because if we're to apply this moral to everyday lives, then... God doesn't usually speak.
53. "Oh nothing, just playing with hamsters." Could've said that without the food in your mouth!
54. Your heart will go on but your species won't.
55. In case you couldn't tell, that giant wave just knocked over a whale. I know you had less than two seconds to register what that tiny little thing was but sorry, no replays!
56. They survive this.
57. Oh, I get it. It's the forbidden fruit. In case you couldn't tell that Shem's machine went against God's plan.
58. I mean, I sure didn't. Take a few people out to sea because that's all the balloon will fit, leave the rest of the group to tend for the animals and when the balloon team finds land, they'll come back for the rest of the group to follow. I don't see how this plan could be flawed other than God's orders to not leave the ark which they will later disobey anyway when they send birds out to follow this exact same plan.
59. Obligatory Wilhelm.
60. Japheth was literally about to slap the squid with a fish. I guess that's how this tradition started!
61-70. This scene was so anticlimactic and cheap it doesn't even deserve narration! 10 sins for the cop-out.
71. And then Shem got so depressed that he shaved his eyebrows between shots. Wait, never mind. There they are.
72. I'll repeat. One, they're about as likely as the blimp that everyone shunned. And two, it looks like your plan is to speed up the process of God's plan by sending birds to take His sign. In other words... keep in mind we were supposed to see Shem as the bad guy in this scene.
73. Also, what's to say the birds aren't going to be attacked by a giant squid on the way back?
74. Seriously? God's plan aside, that's kind of a giant stretch of logic.
75. And here you thought the show stopped doing adult humor.
76. Yeah, check out the story as it goes further in depth about planetary genocide, sex and that one time Noah got drunk and naked in his garden.
Dave and the Giant Pickle[]
1. Two-minute theme song designed to overcompensate for how short this episode is.
2. That's a bit of a stretch, isn't it? One city in a particularly high threat level and that means the whole world is doomed!
3. What do you mean "malfunctioned?" It's a plunger. It's supposed to stick to things.
4-14. Nah, plain old Larry's been about as painful so far.
15. What do you think he's doing?
16. Public domain sneeze effect.
17. Not a problem exclusive to this episode, or even the show, but I always found it somewhat on the nose that so many Bible stories take place in Israel. What, was the land of "Atchwolyhap'n" too overpopulated?
18. This patch of land has a disturbing lack of house.
19. Although we will only ever see three of them because budget.
20-29. Domestic abuse.
30. Quit doing my job for me, Jimmy!
31. Eh, sticking an innocent child to a raging water buffalo is the most boring thing in the world.
32. Pre-emptive "That's racist" in case we get talking lima beans or talking nectarines in the near future.
33. (Incomprehensive babbling)
34. Yes Tom, we've been over this. See, this is why you were dropped from the show.
35. Very compelling and intuitive writing here.
36. Behold! The first appearance of the popular French pea duo: Jean-Claude and... Christophe.
37. The French Peas need subtitles for their insults but once they're actually given helpful exposition, then we're left on our own.
38. Also reading when half your audience can't.
39. "And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry-" skip!
40. Wouldn't this count as forfeit? Especially after 40 days of failed attempts? Man, these Philistines are particularly civil when it comes to enslaving colonies.
41. Considering your species, I'm surprised you're not used to this fear by now.
42. I am also shocked and slightly embarrassed by your hypocrisy.
43. Biblical accuracy? Surely you jest, Mr. Chocolate-Bunny-Factory-in-Babylon!
44. David was this close to stabbing king Saul's eye out.
45. Jimmy on right here, Jimmy dead center here.
46. Here you have it guys! Invisible hands are officially canon. This completely justifies anytime I did not sin their lack of it. Moving on. And this is the point where Goliath squashes David while he's distracted, right? Right?
47. In one of these instant replays, Goliath's hat is missing.
48. So is the sunset going that fast or is the sheep going that slow? Honestly, I'd believe both.
LarryBoy and the Bad Apple[]
1. Aw, the two-minute theme song again? I thought "Rumor Weed" was going in a pretty sweet direction with that and you just had to backtrack. Top notch!
2. Ah, I feel like it was only yesterday when e-mail was the latest thing. Aren't reruns a hoot?
3. He says before slamming an innocent bystander into the wall.
4. This is honestly the greatest name in the world for a candy store. Short, sweet and to the point!
5. You didn't think I'd notice that shameless dialogue recording, did you?
6. Larry-Boy flies this slow for no particular reason aside from a dramatic shot.
7. One, unconfirmed reports? What does that even mean other than what you saw with your own eyes? Two, the return of Larry-Boy? When did he ever leave? Why did he ever leave? I know what they meant, "returning after three years of no movies" but why did Larry-Boy ever leave Bumblyburg? What was it about some guys stealing a single chocolate bar that made him come back?
8. Larry-Boy only needs 9 seconds to soar all the way across Bumblyburg, pick up a box of chocolates, go to his mansion, start up the Larry-Mobile and drive all the way back. Gee, with how time-efficient he is, no wonder he can afford to save a single chocolate bar!
9. What's the deal with this TV screen turning on when Petunia's on the air? It's kind of a waste of resources.
10. Wow, the mayor's vanity is really paying off! She looks about 20 years younger than when we last saw her.
11. This stupid show has existed long enough to be a relevant plot point.
12. Forced meme is forced but had to be done.
13. I find it oddly fitting that Petunia's only role in this world is to be an exposition dump. An in-universe exposition dump!
14. "What's eschew with you?" What's eschew? What's a shoe? What's issue? Alfred, your pun's not even a pun. It's just mad-libbing one!
15. Get hit by a car, get hit by a car, get hit by a car...
16. "What's this? A pear laptop? How dare you not use my image on your workstation? Face my wrath!"
17. Sure Alfred, force Larry into an overly painful training regimen while you sit back, drink your glorified sugar water and watch "Modern Family" reruns. So much for designing a program together.
18. Tempting someone to the point of locking them in their own fantasy world, I can reasonably forgive but compromising their definition of the color "Red"? Now that is evil!
19. Bad Apple goes through the trouble of mounting Jerry's camera upside down for the sake of a humorous visual later and I'm sitting here thinking "Are you crazy? That thing's gonna collapse under its own weight! You're gonna owe Channel 1 News up to $7,000 for this witty little shot!"
20. You know, I was about to buy Petunia having two assistants but then Jimmy Gourd appeared as a different character and I'm like "Wait, what?"
21. And when the rest of Channel 1 News sees that Petunia might be in danger, they send absolutely no one to help because, of course, Larry-Boy and the mayor can handle absolutely every crisis in this city.
22. Ha-ha! That's what you get for walking in the middle of the road like a stupid person! I'm taking that sin back!
-22. Okay, so I would add a sin for this miserable excuse for security clearance but then I'd have to take it back because the Bad Apple actually does keep the Larry-Cave a secret. Sure it was probably just a ploy to make sure nobody saves him but wow! A villain keeping her promises! That takes honor! There is literally no reason for the Bad Apple to reveal her spider legs here other than to tell the audience "Oooh, she's scarier than she's letting on."
22. 2D building here, 3D building here.
23. Discount Willy Wonka
24. Oh, is THAT why Alfred used an obscure word nobody in their child audience would know about? To service the villain's web of lies?
25. And none of his descendants will ever plot revenge for 300 years because reasons.
26. Stop right this instant! What do you think you're doing? You can't say every apple's related to Apply when NOT every apple's related to Apply! We're going to get nasty letters saying "Where's my uncle Apply?" "Why don't I have an uncle Apply?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so, just STOP! BEING! SO! RACIST!
27. Just a few more centimeters and the Bad Apple would've had direct murder on her hands. Well, legs, but at least they're visible.
28. Oh well isn't that arrogant? You're going to assume your attraction is so tempting that nobody will bother to research what "Apply's Funhouse 1" was? I mean, who do you think you are, "Street Fighter?"
29. A huge cloud of mist filled the air, covering everything in sight and making this transition incredibly easy to animate.
30. So we're just going to assume this Land of Chocolate disappears on its own, right? Because we never see the Larry-Cave again after this.
31. Her air.
32. Why are you shocked by this, Alfred? How else did you expect Larry-Boy to save the mayor?
33. How are you filming this? I know you just stole a camera but... Where's the camera now?
34. "We got the music! We got the dancing! We got the rides! We got the games and the prizes!"
35. Did that gun just come out of her? You know, I'm gonna stop before I lose my PG rating.
36. Two. Two shots.
37. So using the sports drink to weaken the webs, I can understand, but how could you possibly have known the broken webs would ricochet and tie up the villain? If you didn't know and that second part was dumb luck, then your plan basically amounts to just killing a few webs of which the Bad Apple can very quickly make more.
38. That's not Jim Poole.
39. See, these people are smart? They run away from the giant rolling boulder of death. But not these two! These two are special!
40. Well, assuming that blastoff didn't destroy any buildings, now the Bad Apple is another city's problem! Ha-ha!
41. Remember kids, temptation is still out there but as long as you pack an expensive sports drink and super-suction ears, then everything will be okay.
42. It's funny because at one point, Larry-Boy was the Robin to Bob's Batman. How times have rapidly changed at Bob's expense.
43. Ha-ha, you did nothing in this episode.
Very Silly Songs![]
1-384. *The tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
Madame Blueberry[]
1. This episode is loosely based on a book that should never be read to small children.
2. Two-minute theme song makes you thankful for the fast-forward button!
3. Yet again, Bob starts the show without checking to see if Larry is right next to him.
4. Okay everyone, that's your headphone test for the evening! Hope your right ear's not dead yet.
5. "Cool toy?" That thing's four times his size!
-5. Wait, what's this? No letter from a child that conveniently coincides with Larry's problem? Oh joy, aren't we getting ambitious!
5. That's racist.
6. Yes Larry, you have seen it. You were in it! Gotta love that selective memory.
7. 53 seconds of pretentious establishing shots.
8. The Madame was taking ridiculous selfies before it was cool. Seriously though, what's with the clown nose?
9. We get it Madame. You hate the silverware, but throwing them to the ground will only make them worse!
10. Anyone else find it creepy and stalkerish that the Madame would take portraits of other people's stuff? Where would she find the time or opportunity to collect all these pictures?
11. Ahh, I see you back there Art Bigotti limited edition collector's plate. I wouldn't be surprised if you broke at some point during this video.
12. Ha-ha, get it? 'Cause they're all fruit!
13. What do you mean "What does it mean?" It's a Stuff-Mart! It's a mart with stuff. It's self-explanatory!
14. (quoting Lyle the Kindly Viking) I've been around since show one and I still don't have a name!
15. The Madame never provides a proper answer to this question, so the salesmen are legally breaking and entering.
16. Get ready for some real nice stuff!
17. This week on sale at the Stuff-Mart, "Est xivrok", "GiljnkHgv", "fjkilsne", "jkdfbnvm".
18. I can buy invisible hands but invisible feet are overkill.
19. Okay, I was with you until you gave me that menacing glare and now this entire story is basically over.
20. "And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry"- skip!
21. "And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt"- double skip!
22. Well here we are, staring, staring quietly. Not doing much at all because doing things is expensive and we're poor.
23. Uh-oh, our customers aren't impressed. Quick! Give the sign some more twinkle! Yeah, that oughta do it.
24. This scene single-handedly sparked my childhood fear of automatic doors.
25. Ohh, I see you back there Buzz-Saw Louie. And here I thought you'd be out of season!
26. Oh, I can tell the "adfgswy" dolls are gonna be flying off the shelves.
27. A lot of people point out that the Madame's hair suddenly turns yellow halfway through the show. I always thought it was just a wig. But that raises another question: Why would the Madame even want a wig? I get that she probably doesn't like her hair, but that's what hair dye is for. It's more permanent and can't fly off during an impromptu chase scene!
28. Junior's mouth is too big for his shirt.
29. Goliath vs. the Fib? This needs to happen!
30. Alright, who's the joker that stocked the chocolate bunnies above the Buzz-Saw Louie action figures? It's a storewide fire waiting to happen!
31. Wait a minute, they're bringing packages into the Madame's house? Whatever happened to leaving it by the front door? Either this is a serious invasion of privacy or the Madame was dumb enough to give the salesmen her key. By all means of logic, this climax shouldn't be happening!
32. While Bob takes matters into his own hands, the Madame's like "No! I'm too pretty to drive an automated shopping cart at 45 mph!"
33. In the middle of this chase, the Madame takes the time to put her sunglasses back on.
34. To everyone that says Larry was too stupid in "VeggieTales in the House", remember this scene and sob quietly in the corner.
35. I see the lions' den kept their business running for a good thousand years! Must be some really good pizza.
36. With all the abuse this tree is getting, I'm surprised it hasn't completely snapped yet!
37. Oh thank goodness no one was hurt! If the trajectory was just a few yards off. Or you know, if there were any cars in the parking lot.
-37. How many preschool shows can you say end with the main character homeless, having lost everything and still come out in a good mood? It would've been so easy for the Madame just to lose all her Stuff-Mart stuff and revert to the status quo! Heck, they could've brought God in to magically restore her house from nothing because that asinine moral worked twice! But this is smart. This is mature.
37. It's too bad Phil Vischer didn't learn anything from it! Phil Vischer runs a successful ministry that spreads all across the world but he's never satisfied with his impact. He wants more! He's especially envious of other bigger companies as he endlessly pines for their feature films and theme parks. But when Phil puts his trust in sleazy corporate executives, his company does get bigger but it also gets harder and harder to control and by the time he decides that bigger is no longer better, it's too late. His company has failed and through a combination of a lawsuit and a very expensive movie, most of his assets are either watered down or completely destroyed. What I'm trying to say is this episode was the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy!
The Wonderful World of Auto-Tainment![]
1. Big Idea presents Big Idea's VeggieTales.
2. Bob is confused by the white void Larry drags him into as opposed to eerily similar white void that Bob drags Larry into every episode.
3. Also, how exactly did they get there? Normally I'm all about that "power of imagination" excuse they usually have, but come on! Larry's far too creative to stop at "plain white void".
4. That's racist.
5. Ohh, so you were the one behind literally every social media platform ever made! You mad lad.
6-9. Getting this bird's eye view of the Wheel of Veggies, you can immediately tell which of them will be launched and which ones won't based on the length of their spring. I don't think we were supposed to see that, nor were we meant to see their backs jutting through the wall, nor were we meant to see that Jimmy and Scooter are wearing unfinished outfits from "The Ballad of Little Joe". And don't think all these animation errors are distracting me from the real problem here: These characters are trapped on a Twirl-a-Hurl for the entire episode and I see a lot of twirling but not the slightest hint of hurling. If I didn't know better, I'd say they're T-posing!
10. These "3-2-1 Penguins!" characters thought they'd get more attention and adoration if they pretended to be VeggieTales characters. And they were right!
11. Larry does realize he'll lose his job too, right? I know the show's called "LARRY'S Wonderful World of Auto-Tainment!" but that holds as much weight as Steven Spielberg's "Animaniacs".
12. Oh no, this is getting real too fast!
13. Based on the mechanics of this device, it's assumed each ball in this one pile can represent a topic or genre depending on which tube they end up sliding down. This will create many problems later.
14. See what I mean about the title? Already, they're drifting Larry out of the equation. Today the logo, tomorrow... the voice actor!
15. They survive this.
16. This is not a topic, and this is not a genre.
17. YOU'RE Jean-Claude.
18. *sighs* Guess I can't hide from it forever! This episode is a thinly-veiled excuse to animate songs from preexisting VeggieTales albums and this issue is exacerbated by the fact that most of these songs are in the public domain. What makes it sadder is that each segment was directed and fully animated by a single person, which hasn't really happened since the very first episode! I guess they wanted to give their newer staff at least a little time in the spotlight before the bankruptcy kicked them all out. Okay, now I'm depressed. Can we get some funny sins now please?
19. Robot children, for when your live studio audience isn't biased enough. Okay, now we're back!
20. Never stop to read the newspapers in your friendly child's programming. Just, just, just don't.
21. So far they've thrown two fragile peas and an old man at the wall and we're supposed to believe none of them are severely injured because comedy.
22. That's probably a topic but that is definitely not a genre.
23. Also, funny how these randomly generated pairs of words conveniently coincide with a public domain song every single time! Can you imagine what would happen if they ever didn't? Oh wait, you don't have to. The original script has it covered!
24. Good question.
25. Alright, is this Big Idea's dumping ground for animations that don't belong in their other videos? I mean, this is a good short and all but aside from the whole CG Biblical truth thing, it doesn't really fit the VeggieTales brand.
26. Case in point, poop joke!
27. In what world is intelligence a genre?
28. Okay, I never questioned it until we got a set this huge. How are we assembling this much material this quickly based on two words? And isn't this supposed to be a flat stage? All the other segments are consistent with characters performing toward the studio audience outside the stage, even if that studio audience is just Bob and Larry, but that's beside the point. If Archibald is in this huge library constantly obscured by shelves, putting aside the moving camera perspective that we see, what exactly are Bob and Larry looking at?
29. Three-dimensional thinking aside, Archibald's just a master at book tower Jenga. It helps that all the books seem to appear and disappear from thin air most of the time!
30. I was willing to buy most of the absurdly timed stunts Archibald pulls in this song as, considering the source material, I'm sure he practiced several times but I draw the lines at these physics. I dare you to walk on books stacked like this and see what happens!
31. I am also not willing to buy his lack of concern as all this refined history and culture comes crashing down behind him.
32. Gesundheit.
33. And yet you open the door for him anyway. Mr. Lunt, you are so bad at this!
34. The actual meaning of "You Are My Sunshine" is a little too depressing for your typical VeggieTales audience so they change half the lyrics to "something, something, God's love."
35. Wait, I thought Larry was sitting on a bench. Where's the bench? Why is he floating in midair?
36. Larry, I don't know exactly who took your bench but I have my suspicions!
37. Wait a minute? Junior? How did you escape the Twirl-a-Whirl? Well if Mr. Lunt's job wasn't at risk before...
38. This morbid prop got a G-rating.
39. Topic, genre, blah blah blah.
40. Ah-ha, that's a cute pun but there's no way there's that few bridges between two sides of an entire state!
41. What foot?
42. Wait, so you're telling me the Wheel of Veggies was supposed to have a roof this whole time? Well yikes, that only makes this bug even more embarrassing!
43. The worst day of your show business career so far.
44. Why yes, Larry. Public domain melodies with minimal artistic or educational merit are, in fact, "pretty cool."
45. Not only does Mr. Lunt continue to defy his "randomly generated" quota, but he also lets Jimmy Gourd escape.
46. And now, one of the rarest VeggieTales sounds: Junior Asparagus being voiced by Mike Nawrocki! So quick you'd never hear the difference unless someone told you.
47. Never mind the fact you typically don't wear clothing, how exactly would you wear anything with two legs like that?
48. Well I mean, yeah sure, anything can have a moral if you shoehorn it in at the very end! I mean, look at Sonic the Hedgehog.
49. More importantly, how exactly does this lesson apply here? In the future, you lose your job to a bunch of half-baked robots who subsequently enslave your friends to endure randomly generated humiliation for the rest of their lives and instead of doing anything meaningful to prevent this terrible fate, you just throw up your invisible hands and say "Whatever, praise God!" *groan*
50. Let me be clear though, I really get what Mike Nawrocki was trying to go for here. This episode was being produced at a time when Big Idea's personal future was uncertain! Long story short, they were in crippling debt from the Jonah movie failing, a lawsuit playing out against them and from simply cranking out too much media at once. Half the studio got laid off and Big Idea was at the mercy of whatever company bought them out after the bankruptcy. The story of this episode was their worst-case scenario: Completely losing control of the show to mindless corporate executives who literally throw garbage at the wall just to see what's funny and profitable, abuse the characters and generally miss the point of VeggieTales entirely by never focusing on any particular lesson! The poor writers on staff are forced to work in-between the executives' convoluted demands and crank out as much quality content as they can despite how poorly they're treated and the general futility of everything. I can only assume the moral of "God loves us no matter what happens" was less for the audience and more for the writers of the episode and creators of the show. Even if VeggieTales turns to total crap after the unpredictable buyout, if God truly loves us, He'll somehow make it all right for us! Needless to say, their very next episode handled a similar moral far better so I'm gonna sin this whole conceit anyway.
The Star of Christmas[]
1. My Christmas gift this year is that they skipped the theme song. Rats, it's the same gift I get every year!
2. €2 in 1882 would be worth nearly €300 today, or $350. That better be elite quality toothpaste!
3. "Talking vegetable hoax!"? All we ever see in this show are talking vegetables and now you're telling me they're as hard to find as Bigfoot?
4. Oh, but I love how Cavis laments about how everything in the paper is bad news including "Local man reads story of Jonah and whale." You know, on second thought, considering Big Idea in 2002, that's one probably the worst news of all!
5. Gee, this ad would be so helpful if there was a phone number or address or any actual way to contact this miracle worker.
6. Integral "Easter Carol" foreshadowing buried between a Mary Poppins reference and a Monty Python reference!
7. December 2, 1882, did not fall on a Thursday.
8. Scrooge character provides conflict-triggering resource then immediately peaces out until the sequel.
9. Why does Cavis care so much if Seymour does or doesn't have the invention? You'd think he plans to use it for the show but no. All he wants is the box of electric lights, which clearly isn't Seymour's invention.
10. Also, you would think this unstable rocket car is just a product of its time but then you remember that Pa Grape's character was never good with cars!
11. Nintendo does not immediately C&D this play.
12. Alright, show of hands. Anyone who watched this episode as a kid, who else kept hearing Cavis's last name as "Happy Fart"? Just me, well now you can't unhear it.
13. "Well, the show opens in three days and you haven't hired a lead yet! I guess we're all unrealistically unprepared."
14. You mean with inconsistent speed and unreliable direction? I think Millward's got you covered there bud.
15. Casually singing a completely unrelated song, I promise.
16. How long have the fairy peas been dancing here? Didn't Cavis just book this theater three minutes ago?
17. No, it couldn't have been that short! They already installed the personalized glass and hung two pictures of themselves with no clothes on. And I'm just gonna stop that train of thought before things get too gross.
18. Too late Seymour! Just by saying that, you have sealed your fate with more beams than the Puggslyville bridge!
19. This bizarre pea animation hidden in the overscan, at the very least, reassures me that there's no unreleased 16:9 version of this film! One down, three to go.
20. "Why yes, and even though we both should know who he is, I'll explain anyway just for the audience's sake."
21. This conversation lasts exactly 2 minutes and 23 seconds. You have failed, Mr. Happy Heart.
22. Oh wait, let me guess. Did the plumber find a secret Warp Zone while working on...?
23. Scene cuts way right before the cookie is eaten because the animators lack ample chewing technology.
24. A circular paradox solved by outright lying to each person about the other. Our heroes, everyone!
25. A moment of silence for the many potatoes who died to make this poster.
26. While I appreciate the callback to Gilbert and Sullivan's lost musical, are you suggesting that Uncle Blobb's been in the carnival business for hundreds of years?
27. Also, shame on you guys for not thinking there'd be any competition on Christmas Eve, especially from a church!
28. So who exactly put the 6-year old in charge of running this entire pageant? Because I have to commend this kid's leadership. So cutthroat, so uncaring about the personal needs of his staff. All he needs is a union buster and he's perfect.
29. The paintbrush and bucket are always conveniently obscured so nobody has to animate the liquid inside.
30. And aside from Cavis's word alone, no further research was done before this story was thrown on point.
31. December 23, 1882 was also not on a Thursday.
32. No, it's really not. Christmas Eve is a kinda popular time for Christmasy stuff. How do you miss that?
33. This episode is really fond of using the ol' "And Then the Opposite Happens" trope, isn't it?
34. Obligatory 3-2-1 Penguins! cameo.
35. Obligatory iris out and fade from black in case we ever need to put commercials on this film.
36. Guys, you don't have to cancel the entire play! Just reschedule it for another night. How is that so hard? It's not like anyone's gonna be disappointed if they're all at the pageant anyway. What, do you think you'll lose favor in the algorithm if you cancel the day before a premiere? You're in 1882!
37. Cut away so we don't have to show Cavis ripping up and crumpling the newspaper before he throws it.
38. Which page did he even tear off? It looks exactly the same as it did before!
39. And even if it were legal, it probably would not reflect well in the prince's review.
40. The drama in these lyrics are palpable. "Beneath the counter's where you'll find the trouble! I'd like to fit it on the double, to protect the world from devastation!"
41. Barring that giant wall of nothing right in front of you, of course.
-41. The disappointment in Cavis's voice as he's once again pigeon-holed into the small-time past he's known for rather than the bigger things he wants to be known for. Dang it! Why does this silly jingle punch me in the heart?
41. (quoting How the Grinch Stole Christmas) Then he got an idea. An awful idea!
42. Temperance league? Like, the temperance movement? Is this the closest VeggieTales ever got to an alcohol joke?
43. Stained glass windows are not this colorful at night unless there's a light source right behind them. I could buy it with the smaller windows because the rays show there's enough moonlight, but what's going on here?
44. How did you two hide from such a skeptical guard? What, did he not think to check the pews before he locked the door?
45. The lighting in this entire scene is kinda miserable. I know it's technically nighttime but the series can and has illustrated that mood before without making everything hard to see! I had to go back and raise the exposure myself just so it'd be visible on a tablet.
46. Rationalize all you want Cavis, but the word "borrow" suggests some form of conensual transaction and I am certain the church is not expecting anyone to just take the star. Come on Cavis, stop lying to yourself, say "The ends justify the means." and be done with it.
47. I had to check this frame by frame to figure out how exactly Millward managed to accidentally catch the tablecloth when he shut the chest and I still don't understand how it happened!
48. Oh you could've run down the side aisle. It was faster!
49. He survives this.
50. So comic gags like this can prosper. Look, we had ordered a giant trampoline for this skit but I think it got lost in the mail somewhere so this is the best we got.
51. Ha-ha. Comical injuries, but why are your clothes still beaten up? It's been a whole day, right? You don't have another change of clothes?
52. I did the math on this. Assuming the stage show and the pageant begin at the same time - because with Cavis's luck of course they would. - the time right now would be 2:30 p.m. on December 23. Makes enough sense until you realize the newspaper Cavis was reading before last night's star theft was also December 23! Whoops!
53. What exactly does Millward trip on? I hear some mechanical rumbling but the chair itself doesn't move at all.
54. I can't believe I haven't asked this before, but where does Cavis get all these crazy ideas? What do you think, Ventrilomatic? Weed eater! Oh, that's your answer to everything.
55. Considering the stage show's flashy nature, I'm glad it never crossed Cavis's mind to make the lights flicker on and off or we'd have even bigger problems on our hands!
56. Pay attention to Cavis's eyes here. For a quarter of a second, it looks like the star is melting and I kinda wish this shot lasted a little longer, just so I can make sure that this isn't an animation error or something.
57. As the theater burns to the ground, I think. You know, you made so many stupid risks on this show and they all could've been avoided if you weren't so narrow-minded in premiering at a very specific time in a very specific place! If you had just delayed this one show for another time, you could've kept the studio and key members of your crew. But now you lost everything you had for the sole purpose of changing the world as soon as you possibly could and you still couldn't reach your initial goal! *sigh* I hope you're proud of yourself, Phil! I mean, Cavis.
58. At some point between the last dress rehearsal and the jail scene, we go from the afternoon of the 23rd all the way to the evening of the 24th. When's the time skip? When did they sleep during all this?
59. All offscreen. We never actually see this character's growth for ourselves.
60. Apparently forgiving Cavis and Millward's debts also means rapidly healing all their wounds, skin and clothes alike.
61. (quoting Josh and the Big Wall!) It's time? It's time? Did he say "it's time!"? You know the rest.
62. Look ma, no seatbelts! I don't care if they haven't been patented yet. That's a cheap excuse to avoid animating a strap and you know it!
63. Well the results immediately answer that question. Trial and error, Millward. It's that simple.
64. These guys cause so much property damage and even accidental kidnapping just to make it to the church on time, but unlike when they burned down the theater, I don't think they'll be charged for any of this. I guess the ends DO justify the means!
66. (also quoting Josh and the Big Wall!) How are we clapping?
67. Okay, let's consider our options for how this audience got here. One, news did not spread fast enough that the star was stolen and a large chunk of the congregation, crown prince included, is about to feel incredibly ripped off. Or two, the news has spread. Everyone accepts it and they're just here for the church but that raises the question of why theater critic Prince Frederick is still here. If he cared that much about the church, why would he have even considered going to Cavis and Millward's show in the first place?
68. Alright, I guess this stolen bankteller is part of our main cast now. Gotta deal.
69. Blatant reuse of the laughing kid from Jonah.
70. Oh don't you tell me they set up that entire pulley system complete with rudimentary electric wiring in less than two minutes!
71. Nezzer screams but only loud enough to hear in your right ear and nothing on your left.
-71. You know, I was gonna make a joke about Millward blocking essential information or possibly hiding a file inside Pincher's present but I don't really have the heart to sin this beautiful Christmas moment. Just subtract a sin and leave me be!
71-87. The Star of Christmas.
The End of Silliness?[]
1. What if I told you this was the only VeggieTales classic I did not watch when I was five? Good thing too because I know this bizarro montage would've given me nightmares!
2. Not even '90s home videos are exempt from suddenly changing their title post-release for optimal marketing.
3-33. Wait, this is a sing-along? Oh, don't tell me we're gonna... *the tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
34. We later get a closeup of this jukebox and it turns out that not only is "Song of the Cebú" NOT G7, but there aren't even enough songs to require inputting a number.
35-66. *the tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
67. I have to say, this is a really weird framing device for a sing-along. Yeah kids, if you actually had fun with that last song, you just made Larry very disappointed!
68. The final appearance of Lovey Asparagus is the only time we ever see her with hair. So was it just covered by her hats this whole time or is it just a stylish wig?
69. Jimmy, how many clicks does it take to press the letter C?
70-101. *the tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
102. The song's original title was "The Chocolate Factory". It fits so much better and I don't understand why they changed it!
103-134. *The tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
135. See, Big Idea? A 30fps version of this shot does exist, so why have we been stuck with the unpatched version since 2002?
136-140. This tune is actually not as upbeat and peppy as the rest of the video, so let's just move on.
141. I did not grow up with the "S-M-I-L-E" song, so for the longest time, I had no idea why poor Larry suddenly burst into "The Battle Hymn of the Republic".
142. I don't get it! How's "Big Things Too" supposed to be funny?
143. Also, Jimmy acts as if that's going to be the next song, but no it's actually...
144-206. *the tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
207. The song's original title was "Salesmunz Rap" and while I can definitely understand why they changed this one, it still demonstrates a lack of commitment.
208-239. *the tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
240. Larry would be incredibly depressing at CinemaSins.
241. Interactions like this really make me wish Larry and Archibald had a more long-term rivalry and it didn't just end with this episode.
242. Considering the context of a jukebox framing device, it's kinda weird that "His Cheeseburger" would even include this extended opening! Convenient for the plot of course but still peculiar for your average customer that would have to wait 58 seconds before the actual song began.
243-274. *The tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
275. Also peculiar that these guys waited for the song to end before confronting Archibald for his actions.
276. Which public were you best interesting? "Song of the Cebú" was a smash hit with or without a clean end to its narrative.
277. How convenient that the rain we've had for this entire episode stops just in time for the climax.
278. "Save Our Silly Songs!" was a real-life petition that got 167,512 signatures, most of which from a single U.S. state! Nowadays, we'd be lucky to get 2,000 signatures across the entire world. How far the fandom has fallen...
279. Big Idea's reflection technology just cannot handle Archibald's monocle and a wooden finish at the same time.
280. If Silly Songs was cancelled after "Cebú", when did you get time to record this?
281. Oh, so I guess you can just insert any old CD into this jukebox with zero security measures. I'm sure that's never been exploited by any troublesome teenagers.
282-314. *The tune of Oh My Word This Tune is Annoying*
315. Oh yeah, this entire set was ripped wholesale from an Edward Hopper painting. Forgot to mention that somehow!
Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn[]
1. What do you mean "This isn't VeggieTales!"? Look, it's got Bob and Larry on the front and everything!
2. This awkward and lanky Michelle design they would immediately replace in the next episode.
3. If you look closely at the P's center, you'll see the exact moment where the crater behind it disappears.
4. Wait, that's not Grandmum's voice. Oh wait, I got a new tape! Hang on, let me swap this out with the original. There we go! That's the voice I remember from the commercials.
5. Look, I get you're obscuring all the adults' faces for a gag and it's cute but you're not gonna animate this shadow here. You're just gonna stick with this PNG for 7 seconds? Alright, your loss.
6. If you don't remember seeing these next few scenes, it's because NBC had them all cut to make more time for commercials and they've never been restored! Not on Peacock, not on Roku, not on Yippee, not even on physical media! Unless you shell out the cash for a standalone DVD that hasn't been sold since 2008 or you just happen to own a VeggieTales box set that accidentally sold this episode as a bonus feature, you ain't seeing this content in official capacity anytime soon.
7. The Turbo 3000 is literally a Nintendo 64.
8. You just saw Jason get repeatedly electrocuted 20 seconds ago. You call that "fun"?
9. Frogs don't so much "fight" like dogs as they do accidentally poison them. What are you on about, Grandmum?
10. Deflecting ethical responsibility like a true influencer.
11. Oh no you fool! Your controller's in the Player 2 port. You won't even get past the menu!
12. "Ugh, this kidney pie is awful. It tastes like the back of my shirt!"
13. Gee Grandmum, you should've warned these kids about the deadly attic latter before you sent them upstairs!
14. The toy spaceship has more extraneous details than the actual spaceship.
-14. I don't know why they gave Jason such a strong fascination for botany that it's not only fully integrated into his pretend space adventure but he gets so excited when the game bundled with his Turbo 3000 is "Bonsai Master III: Pruner of Destiny". This character detail adds nothing to the story but I love their commitment despite that.
14. Up to now, I would've accepted hiding Grandmum's face from the fourth wall but you just had to make it an in-universe problem.
15. Ha-ha, poor Zidgel.
16. For a brief moment, Jason forgets basic math. Silly Jason! Don't you know that the human hand only has four fingers?
17. Jason, what are you trying to accomplish by shoving Michelle's favorite penguins in the toy ship? If it's supposed to be some kind of threat, how's Michelle supposed to know when she's not looking at what you're doing?
18. We are halfway into the pilot of "3-2-1 Penguins!" and it took us this long to get to the penguins.
19. Why do you need Jason on the monitor when he's right in front of you?
20. I don't think I need to explain that one.
21. The Galeezel resizing device is incredibly overpowered and why they never used it to end world hunger, I'll never know.
22-30. Oh ho ho, that would certainly make things easier, wouldn't it? But alas, future events in the NBC reboot would greatly contradict this theory, I'm forced to piece through this plot logically. How did these penguins come to life? If they were alive this whole time, why were they stationed at Grandmum's house in hyper-sleep for Lord knows how long? How convenient is it that Jason just happened to place these penguins in their rightful headquarters simply out of spite for his sister? Why do their daily missions always depend on abducting a child? Why do said missions eerily coincide with each everyday problem the child has? Why is every civilian on every planet roughly the same size except for people on Earth that have to be galeezled? Why does scientist Dr. Fidgel strongly resemble Jason's granddad? By the way, don't think I didn't notice this cheeky framing. Why does captain Zidgel have all of Michelle's vain tendencies and the same voice as Jason's dad? Why is first officer Midgel literally Jason's self-insert character complete with botany interest? Why is Kevin an exaggerated version of Grandmum with all of the quirks and none of the wisdom? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebú sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum? Oh geez, I got carried away back there. Uh, scrap those last few sins, will ya?
31. You know what a fax machine is?
32. Jason's seatbelts clip through the floor.
33. During this landing sequence, Jason is reasonably terrified but Fidgel's having the time of his life and I think the captain might've lost his lower jaw somewhere.
34. Even though we've landed, you can still see moving stars out of Midgel's window.
35. Roll credits.
36. Midgel expertly dodges Zidgel's dramatic point as if they've done this routine a million times before.
-36. I'm not gonna lie, "President No-I'm-the-President" is probably the best character name Big Idea has ever come up with!
36. See guys, I told you this was a VeggieTales episode! Look, Larry the Cucumber's in it!
37. If planet Wait-Your-Turn is moving this quickly toward the sun, why hasn't that blue planet above the set moved an inch?
38. Talking toward the camera instead of toward the character.
39. You've only been here for three minutes!
40. Gee, how nice of the deadly sun to gradually stop blinding us while Jason lectures to the planet. You'd think they're going for a twist where we've been moving further away from the sun this whole time, but nope. Here's the planet hurtling this close to its doom.
41. Also for a planet that was about 90% on fire ten seconds ago, the plant life sure recovered quick!
42. It's okay Jason, I don't think I'll ever get it either...
King George and the Ducky[]
1. Theme song selfishly takes away two minutes of our time.
2. Boy, the transition from Softimage to Maya was rough. I may never get ever Bob and Larry's tiny pupils!
3. These Bob and Larry impostors are still more convincing than the ones on the podcast.
4. Why does a cardboard cutout need band-aids? I can understand duct tape or rubber bands but band-aids? What, does the cardboard bleed?
5. My sincerest apologies to Huberts everywhere.
6. This is neat continuity after two episodes without a countertop, but considering the next episode has no countertop, the one after that has a different host and the one after THAT barely qualifies as an episode at all, all I can say is "Too bad Bob. You ARE getting another break!"
7. Of all the incredibly specific callbacks they could've made, why did they pick that one? Hmm, I wonder...
8. Other than your own?
-8. The artistic merits and comedic genius of "The Englishman Who Went Up the Hill and Came Down with All the Bananas" needs no words and I dare not spoil it for you. 10/10!
8. Better question: Why can't you turn on QWERTY? Sure, you try to do it with several keyboard combinations but it never occurred to you to look for a power button first?
9. I normally don't question the invisible hands, but how exactly did Jerry lose his grip on the sign here? I wouldn't even ask if the sign had just completely dropped but the way it ALMOST slips out of his invisible fingers kinda bugs me. What are the logistics here?
10. Larry tries to shake off Jimmy and Jerry's performance but secretly he is just as insulted as Bob.
11-12. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of king George without a towel. I said WITHOUT a towel!
13. Am I the only one who first saw that as a wide open mouth instead of a goatee?
-13. You know, any other merch-based children's show at the time would've tried selling this as a princess bed but Larry somehow ROCKS these colors. First the Suzy action jeep, now this.
13. Seems like an impressive shot until you see the exact line where the 3D models end and the matte painting begins.
14. Look, I'm all about songs that don't necessarily teach the right lesson but I'm gonna sin this one because Big Idea had the nerve to use it like this... "Buy it now because we're really desperate for Jonah money!"
15. Hold on, wait a minute. I'm starting to remember this story here! Wasn't there some kind of God-given rule that you could only have one ducky? No, no, no, no, no, was it "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ducky?" Hang on, bear with me, I'll figure this one out.
16. Congratulations my dedicated subscribers! Y'all get a D.
17. Scallion #1 finally gets a name and he never uses it again.
18. Thought you could hide your recycled animation behind a mirror, didn't you?
19. King George's entire plan to get rid of Thomas and take his ducky is fundamentally flawed. Sure, putting Thomas in the pie war gets him out of the way for a while but at some point the war will end, he'll go back home, find out his ducky is gone and that's when the criminal investigations begin! This power-hungry tyrant is incredibly short-sighted and that's what makes him the most realistic character in this episode.
20. "And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry"- skip.
21. You would think the "Royalty" arrow would point up to the sky, not down to the ground.
22. I hear police sirens but what could they possibly do to stop their king?
23. Never underestimate Junior's power to stop ginormous enemies that grown adults never could. I bet all he had to do was just scream about what he learned today and poof! They're all gone.
24. Of all the things I expected to see in VeggieTales, a grown man in power giving a young child long-term PTSD just to steal the kid's bath toy is somewhere in my top 20.
25. That almost sounds like something Mr. Nezzer would say to rationalize his terrible decisions and I really don't know how to feel about that.
26. Gratuitous exposition alarm!
27. The guest at the house of the rich man clips through the sheep at the house of the rich man.
28. "Oh King George, you are that..." Hero?
29. "Hey Melvin, you sorta just walked out without taking your flannelgraph! Oh well, guess it's mine now." "Nope, still mine! Yeah, I knew I'd be back in two minutes so I didn't bother moving it. Uh, that was my plan the WHOLE time! Heh heh heh heh."
30. Being selfish doesn't pay. I tried it just the other day! You tried it a few hours ago! Was there a big time skip I missed?
31. Did you ever wonder why Esther didn't have a countertop sequence? Rumor has it the French peas' performance was so disastrous that it had to be cut for the health and safety of the audience.
32. Hmm, I still feel like I'm forgetting something. Some dark truth behind the scenes that changes the entire context of this episode, something that would make all their talk about owning several duckies, coveting thy neighbor's ducky, kidnapping duckies in the dead of night, all duckies looking the same and king George giving his old duckies away to anyone who wanted one seem highly insensitive and absurdly problematic, but how? Oh, it's right on the tip of my tongue! What could it possibly be?
33. Oh, I got it! The bathtub is full of ginger ale! THAT'S the sin I was missing. Phew, crisis averted!
LarryBoy and the Angry Eyebrows[]
1. This video exists.
2. Officer Olaf, you are not tied directly to the train tracks. What's stopping you from just standing up?
3. LarryBoy is completely surrounded by hired goons with no escape, yet the only way this plunger trick could actually work is if he leaves the circle first. Otherwise, he'd just tie himself up!
4. How am I supposed to spell "Larry-Boy" again? I'm used to the dash and a capital B but this video doesn't have the dash and some official branding has a lowercase B so what gives? Is this what constitutes a difference between two universes now?
5. Okay, now I know for sure this is an alternate universe because Larry has bottom teeth!
6. I could believe a convenient spatula was in Larry-Boy's utility belt but I refuse to believe a convenient GIANT spatula was in Larry-Boy's utility belt!
7. Discount Officer Scooter.
8. Discount Jimmy and Jerry Gourd.
9-11. Larry-Boy would be excellent at CinemaSins! But not excellent though. Where did Herbert and Wally get all the cheese? And how are they throwing it all at once with this much force? I don't see any ginormous radar-guided artillery in THIS costume!
12. "I will scream this in case you forgot this is a Christian cartoon!"
13. "Antagonist of a VeggieTales Episode is the Only Character with Arms or Legs" cliché.
14. Lampy, buddy, why do you keep putting up with awful Alvin's nonsense? You know as well as I do that you can do better. No, you DESERVE better!
15. Discount Petunia Rhubarb. Oh wait a minute, Vicki came first! Uh... shallow love interest character that serves no real purpose to the story. There we go.
16. BATHTUB HAIR. As a kid, I thought this was just a trash bag but no. This whole thing is a giant glob of hair that's been sitting in bathroom pipes for weeks! Nickelodeon would've been proud.
17. Eww, Nickelodeon would've REALLY been proud!
18. Larry-Boy's butler is named "Archie" instead of "Alfred" because for some reason Big Idea suddenly cares about trademark infringement now. I wonder why...
19. Uh-oh, forgot to change the background here.
20. So let me see if I got awful Alvin's plan straight. The evil device that forces people to hold on to their anger only works as long as people... hold on to their anger? Hey, don't get me wrong. I can respect what the eyebrows actually do: Taking the cold bitterness in someone's heart and amplifying it to a blind rage, but the way Alvin explains the plan just seems so counterproductive.
21. The very concept of Superhero Class is incredibly suspect. I appreciate the intent but if I were a mad villain, I would seriously take advantage of those precious hours when my arch-nemesis is reliably out of town for a lecture. Awful Alvin sure did!
22. Hey wait a second! They're literally using the exact same pose as the last time we did this take!
23. Gee thanks Bok Choy. Your moral standards just exposed a superhero's secret identity. Better hope that no sinister villain is spying on you from this open window.
24. You know, I actually read the Superhero Handbook and would you believe that about 90% of it has nothing to do with actual superheroes? Sure, it has small passages here and there that vaguely resemble a decent moral code if you take them out of context, but the rest of it's just an unfocused contradictory mess.
25. Nyeh.
26. Upon seeing Lampy on the roof, Larry not only neglects to report this to the Daily Bumble security, not only fails a spot check when awful Alvin is this close in front of him but leaves both villains unsupervised with complex machinery that he just got fixed! Our hero, everyone.
27. Wow Bob, you sound awfully happy to throw Larry under the bus.
28. Does the beeping come from the mop's handle or the mop itself? The animators can't seem to decide!
29. Tired Larry, happy Larry, back to tired Larry.
30. The secret pneumatic Larry-Tube is accessed with a shiny red button that anyone in the Daily Bumble could see and press.
31. Bob the Tomato's choice weapon is ketchup and that is just sick.
32. Bree.
33. Larry-Boy, rather than going into blind rage-attack mode like everyone else in Bumblyburg, just stands there in awkward silence to give awful Alvin the gloat.
34. He totally can! It's in the fine print.
35. You weren't satisfied with a simple whip pan shot. No, you needed the characters and background to inexplicably expand and fade between each other. Look, if you just ran out of smear frame budget, this is a really strange workaround.
37. Fellows? Fiends? Familiars? Okay, well I guess that works too!
38. Gee, what were the odds that Ma Mushroom's Knitmaster 3000 could handle so much living hair at once and still survive without even a scratch?
39. Why is this shot of digital 2D animation so out of focus?
40. Occasionally, throughout the series, outlines would get a lot thicker during fade transition for some reason. This is only the most obvious example.
41. Let's be real, we all know why "The Cartoon Adventures of Larry-Boy" failed. You sell 30 minutes of Flash-based 2D animation on VHS for $12 or $15 when your competition is generally free with a cable TV package? You were doomed from the start! Good thing the CG animation in VeggieTales can always stay above TV standards. I mean, can you imagine how much trouble Big Idea would have if decent 3D animation were on TV for free in the year 2002? DNA Productions, you traitors.
Lyle the Kindly Viking[]
1. Two-minute theme song proves there is such a thing as too much sharing.
2. Fun fact, "Lyle" was the first VeggieTales episode to be animated at film-standard 24fps instead of TV-standard 30fps. I'm certain this was a stylistic choice for a more cinematic experience and was in no way a cheap maneuver for the studio to save on render time.
3. Except that last one. That would get us in more legal trouble!
4. What do you mean "lacking in taste and culture"? Esther had plenty of that stuff and the parents hated it! Archibald, are you sure you know what the show needs?
5. Archibald changes his costume in less than 1/24th of a second.
6. Archie thinks it'd be a great idea to tell a story about adultery and murder to small children, and it wouldn't even be the first time VeggieTales did that!
7. Mr. Lunt isn't getting cancelled on both sides of Twitter in this scene.
8. Look, I get what you're trying to do here and in most other cases, one rich guy's resources could feed an entire country but in prince Omelet's defense, this is literally the last plate of eggs in the entire kingdom. Barring the slim chance of a "loaves and fish" miracle, we are long past the point where sharing could actually make a difference!
9. *sigh* Behold, the aforementioned "loaves and fish" miracle.
10. It's not Pizza Time yet!
11. And this is the part where most children lose focus because they have no idea who Gilbert and Sullivan are, nor why they should care about all this exposition.
12-13. This musical pop-up book is a total sham! If Archibald's reading it right, the words are upside down in relation to the pictures. Where even are the words anyway?
14. The Viking wives make for a decent opening number but otherwise contribute nothing to the story.
15. We get it Big Idea! You're proud of your water technology. Please do not flood the ship.
16. Archibald, given the context of a lost musical from the 1800s, does not immediately question the one line about giant-screen TVs.
17. Mabel and Penelope forgot to wear their costumes in this shot.
18. The mouth animation gives up halfway through Archibald's narration.
19. Stuff-Mart.
20. If the ground is all the way below the screen, then where exactly are Jimmy and Jerry standing right now?
21. This shot composition tricks you into thinking Ottar is rowing on both sides but that's clearly impossible and this boat clearly should not be rowing straight.
22. Can we really call it sharing if Lyle's just giving the monks back what's rightfully theirs? Yeah, one could probably agree that Lyle wasn't the one who stole the loot in the first place that he's just "sharing" the wealth that life "gave" him, but that's just being pedantic.
23. Even though it's vaguely implied, we never actually see the Vikings tether or untether their boats to these poles and I'm sure the animators are forever grateful for that.
24. Two versions of this shot exist and one of them hasn't been seen on official media for decades now.
25. Wait a minute. Lyle, why did you show up at the monastery before the daily raid? I'd understand if he were, say, helping the monks stage a counterattack to stop future raids from happening, but no. He's just giving them more stuff like he always does! What's the point if it's just gonna get stolen in 5 minutes?
26. Hey, you can't fool me with a quick animation gag. Those binoculars are gone!
29. In no other universe could these wooden oars sustain Sven's weight.
30. Wait, that's not the same bag of loot he got yesterday, right? Because he already gave that to the monks! Why would the monks bring it home only to take it all the way back down to shore? It's clearly meant to be a second gag, so where did Lyle get the second bag?
31. Dramatic and inconvenient thunderstorm is dramatic and inconvenient.
32-42. Olaf shreds Lyle's sail, throws out his oars, leaves him stranded in the middle of the ocean during a violent storm... What did he think was gonna happen? This is clearly a murder plot and no matter how many guilty looks the other Vikings may have, they are all complicit in Olaf's evil scheme. Five sins for the assailant and one more per accomplice!
-42. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
42. It's like poetry, so they rhyme!
43. Invisible hands aside, there is no way you kids are pulling your own weight while dangling in midair.
44. Remember that you are plot convenience and to plot convenience you shall return.
45. Jerry, are you okay? You sound like you have a cold.
46. That's racist.
47. The way Archibald and the peas awkwardly slide into frame before their animation starts is enough evidence to tell me there's no unreleased 16:9 version of this film. Hey, I'm halfway there! "But what about Larry's High Silk..." I said it's not Pizza Time yet!
48. This episode and "King George" teach literally the same sharing lessons to the point where certain countries have an official video called "Englishman with an Omelet" that combines the B-stories from each episode together. A little too soon to start recycling morals, aren't we?
'Twas the Night Before Easter[]
1. Don't remind me.
2-3. Oh yeah, this episode was in that brief window of time when all the "Dear Bob and Larry"s came in through face chats. Eventually, they'd scale it back to basic emails but for now I have to endure non-professional child acting. Also, if Timmy were looking where this web camera is pointing, he'd just be staring at a wall! Come on, at least vaguely point the camera in Bob and Larry's direction. You've done it once before!
4. How does that even work? His AI shuts down but the computer itself doesn't? Does that mean QWERTY isn't actually a living computer, just an artificial soul trapped inside the computer? And can that soul be copied or transferred to another device or is it buried in so much DRM protection that this computer from 2009 can only handle one email and one Bible search per day before it explodes?
5. By the way, this kid doesn't actually have a problem. He just wants to know what this Easter show is gonna be about. (quoting Moe and the Big Exit) Who's screening your mail?
6. Careless disregard for local traffic.
7. Jonah flashbacks.
8. "But we're not even using tape! It's been out of fashion for years!"
9. Immediately painting the protagonist and her goals in a negative light before any of her plans can get off the ground.
10. Helping her move? You mean she's living in the theater now? Okay, I guess paying rent is one way to keep the building afloat for a few weeks but gee, I sure hope living in a semi-abandoned building that's in need of extensive repair doesn't blow up in your face in the third act.
11. The show opens in a week yet the script isn't finished, none of the actors have been cast and the guys in charge of technology still need to fix the theater itself, so we are EVEN less prepared than "The Princess and the Plumber".
12. Baby trafficking.
13. Hmm, I wonder what terrible thing Frankencelery did to get booted out of this group, or what terrible thing the scallions did to make him WANT to leave! Either way, shame on the scallions for trying to keep their "quartet" name without finding a replacement first!
14. (forced laugh) I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around Mr. Nezzer having a boss.
15. And you have already failed! Considering basic math was enough to reject these three beautiful voices, you should've known there were more than four auditions before yours.
16. Abruptly halting the narrative flow of this scene to recycle the "Lost Puppies" song for literally no reason whatsoever.
17. Thank you Mr. Exposition.
18. Oh man, I knew this whole episode was a "Star of Christmas" rip-off, but they are jumping through so many hoops to keep the same story beats. I mean, yeah, of course it wouldn't make sense to premiere a theater show at the same time as a major church event but we still need to fabricate a choice between one or the other.
19. I was going to suggest delaying the show's premiere like I did last time but unlike "Princess and the Plumber", this is a show that could only work DURING Easter so yeah, Marlee kinda dug her own grave here.
20. Oh great, now we're getting somewhere! Instead of plotting to steal a prized historical artifact, you're plotting to steal a person which I hear is illegal now!
21. "And now it's time for the latest dance craze with Jean-Claude and Phillipe-" passons.
22. Give Cavis some credit. At least he never publicly advertised a star he didn't have yet.
23. Wait, tonight? Even if you do get Cassie at this point, you're only giving her a few hours maximum to rehearse? Give Cavis some credit. At least Effie Pickering had three days! Actually, scratch that! You're taking her from the very rehearsal that stopped her from being in the show to begin with, which most likely means that your show has already started. Yeah! So not only are you risking the possibility that Cassie will see through your entire sham, let alone fail to memorize her part in 10 minute tops but you left your own show without its three leading directors for a majority of the program! You had seven days to figure out this plan and you waited until the last possible moment to execute it! Give. Cavis. Some. Credit. At least he got his maniacal plot sorted out at least 29 hours in advance.
24. Yeah, yeah, and you're not a robot. I've heard!
25. Well, I'll give Marlee some credit. Unlike Cavis, she actually got a full house opening night before the theater was destroyed. Furthermore, despite all odds, she hasn't gotten herself into any legal trouble. The church won't press charges for "borrowing" Cassie and Prescott was already planning to knock down the theater BEFORE this whole thing started, so no harm, no foul. But when I put it like that, it's almost like they wanted this "Star of Christmas" knockoff to have a lot less teeth than the original.
26. The resemblance is entirely canny! (Christmas Eve in jail/Easter in a homeless shelter.)
27. In "The Star of Christmas", our climatic race to the church made sense because the pageant was going to happen with or without the main cast, but in more pressing circumstances like an out-of-nowhere snowstorm, most of your congregation and staff is going to be late for church anyway, so why the rush?
28. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to cram so many plot-relevant features into just two levers!
29. Seymour says not to use the last rocket because it's too powerful and he hasn't tested it yet. Howard says not to push the red button because he has no idea how his own machine works.
30. You know, the town's not very big. In the amount of time it would take to debate whether or not to press the red button, you could just walk around this whole roadblock.
31. How is this bus supporting this giant robot's weight?
32. *gasp* They said the A-word. Or was it the H-word? Well either way, I hope you didn't watch this BEFORE Easter!
33. This playground is significantly smaller than the theater it used to be.
34. You know what? Forget what I said about artificial souls trapped in esoteric technology or whatever. It's more like QWERTY's just being a jerk and giving everyone the silent treatment.