These are the transcripts for the UK (British English) dub of 3-2-1 Penguins!
Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-TurnEdit
Michelle: (humming) [doll's shoe hits Jason] Whoops.
Jason: (picks up shoe and adjusts glasses) Mum, she did it again!
Mrs Conrad: Michelle, now come on, we're almost there. Apologise to your brother.
Michelle: Sorry, Jason.
Mrs Conrad: I hope you two don't act this way while you're at Grandmum's.
Michelle: Yay, Grandmum's cottage!
Jason: Yay, Grandmum's cottage. You know, Trevor's at Space Camp right now.
Mrs Conrad: Jason, you'll get to go to Space Camp after Grandmum's cottage. You're just going to need to be patient.
Michelle: I just love Grandmum's cottage! Are we almost there?
Mr Conrad: You should know where we are, cupcake, unless you aren't wearing your glasses again.
Mr Conrad: Hey, hey, hey! We're here!
Grandmum: Hello, sweeties! How's my two favourite twin pumpkins?
Michelle: Hi, Grandmum!
Jason: Hi, Grandmum.
Grandmum: Oh, that's very pleasant of you to come here!
Mr Conrad: Oh, you kids are gonna love it here. Your grandfather finished this place when I was about your age.
Grandmum: That's right. Built the whole place himself, he did. Quite a man, your granddad.
Grandmum: Oh! Goodness, now, which one are you, then?
Michelle: We're not identical twins, Grandmum.
Jason: Thank goodness.
Michelle: Just remember, I'm the cute one.
Jason: And I'm the one who's supposed to be at Space Camp.
Mrs Conrad: Okay, that's everything. I'm afraid we have to run or we'll miss our flight.
Mr Conrad: Thanks for watching the kids, mum! Jason and Michelle, we'll call you when we get there.
Grandmum: Have a good trip. And don't you worry about these two, they'll be just fine here. No better place for kids, you know.
Mr Conrad: That's right.
Mrs Conrad: Bye-bye, sweethearts, we love you! Be good for your grandmum.
Mr Conrad: And have fun!
Grandmum: Come on, pumpkins! You can give me a hand with supper.
Mrs Conrad: Goodbye!
Mr Conrad: Goodbye!
Mr Conrad: Jason, your mum and I know you'd rather be at Space Camp right now, so we got you and Michelle something that might make the time go faster. Now, be sure you take turns with your sister. We'll call you tonight, buddy.
Grandmum: What's that you got, love?
Jason: Huh? Oh, it's a Turbo 3000 game consule, and the best game in the world, Bonsai Master 3: Pruner of Destiny. It's almost as cool as Space Camp. I just need some tools to hook it up to your, uh, telly.
Grandmum: Oh, the telly. Sounds lovely. Sure you can make it work?
Jason: No job's too hard when you use your head.
Michelle: Hey, what's that?
Jason: It's a Turbo 3000. Mum and dad gave it to us.
Michelle: Are you gonna be able to hook it to that old telly?
Jason: Sure, it's easy. Ow! Ow.
Jason: Ha, it's done.
Michelle: Is it ready.
Jason: Whoa-ho-ho-ho no, I don't think so. Dad handed to me, and I got it all hooked up, so I get to go first.
Michelle: Hooking it up is half the fun. I get to go first.
Jason: No way, Michelle.
Jason and Michelle: (arguing)
Grandmum: Merciful heavens! What's all this then?
Grandmum: I can't have my little onions fighting like frogs and dogs now, can I?
Grandmum: Look, I'm glad you got a new widget there, but you need to learn to wait your turn. To let someone else go first every now and then. It's called patience, and it's a virtue. Now, let's see, what's the Good Book say? Oh, right! "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly." Do you know what folly is?
Jason and Michelle: (shake their heads)
Grandmum: Foolishness! Trouble! Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble. Good things come to those that wait.
Jason: I couldn't agree more. That's why you should wait your turn.
Michelle: No way, Jason. Besides, I had a controller first.
Jason: Yes, but I have the controller that's plugged in.
Jason: (turns on the telly)
(Video game noises start up, but the telly busts)
Grandmum: Supper's ready!
Grandmum: Ooh, it smells even more delicious out here.
Michelle: (sniffs) So, Grandmum, what's for dinner?
Grandmum: Well, for your first supper here at the cottage, I thought I fix you one of your granddad's favorites, pie.
Michelle: (snickers) Pie for dinner?
Grandmum: Oh, yes, sometimes we'd have it thrice a week.
Michelle: Do they always serve pie for dinner in England?
Grandmum: Oh, no. Not always. Some folks serve bangers and mash, or bubble and squeak, or haggis.
Grandmum: Oh, nasty stuff. Mostly hearts and lungs. Sticks to the roof of your mouth like skunk bottom. Now, there's a dish you don't try more than once.
Jason: I knew this one kid who ate frog brains.
Grandmum: With a little butter and salt, not bad, really, frog brains.
Michelle: Um, what kind of pie is this, anyway?
Grandmum: Why, it's kidney pie, dearie.
Michelle: Kidneys? Real kidneys?
Michelle: Grandmum, would it be okay if I just went upstairs to play? I'm not really hungry anyway. We stopped at Burger Bell on the way up.
Jason: Yeah, me too, Grandmum?
Grandmum: Well, alright, sweeties. I was hoping to show you my collectibles. But that can wait til morning, I suppose.
Michelle: Thanks, Grandmum.
Jason: Yeah, thanks.
Grandmum: You be careful with those, pumpkin. Your granddad gave those to me on our honeymoon in the Falklands. Always knew how to make me smile, he did, your granddad. Oh, if only he was here to see his little granddaughter playing with the penguins he got me on our honeymoon in the Falklands. (sniffs) Oh well, good memories. All that matters.
Michelle: Thanks, Grandmum, I'll be careful.
Jason: Space commander Jason, here. I'm stranded on a hostile planet with absolutely nothing to do, or eat.
Michelle: (with high voice) You look very handsome today, Mr Penguin!
Michelle: (with low voice) And you look beautiful in that new dress, Miss Penguin, did you borrow it from Miss Pretty Pretty?
Michelle: (with high voice) I beg your pardon, Miss Pretty Pretty borrows clothes from me, thank you very much.
Jason: Did you bring any comic books?
Michelle: (with high voice) Why, I don't believe I did, Mr Jason. I mostly read magazines from Paris, on account of me being a supermodel.
Jason: I'm gonna die here.
Michelle: (with low voice) Did you say you speak French, Miss Penguin?
Michelle: (with high voice) Oui, oui, I do, indeed. Quite well, Mr Penguin.
Michelle: (with low voice) Wow, beautiful and sophisticated. You're an amazing penguin, Miss Penguin.
Michelle: (with high voice) Why, merci ever so much, Mr Penguin! (giggles)
Michelle: (with low voice) Oh, you dropped your hat.
Jason: (nervous laugher)
Michelle: You almost killed me!
Jason: There was a ring. It was hanging, so I jumped, then the stairs fell from the sky! I wonder where they go.
Michelle: Oh no you don't, Jason T. Conrad! You put those right back in the ceiling before Grandmum comes up here.
Jason: I think you have to pull these shut from the top. I'll go try.
Michelle: Okay, but you come down just as soon as...but, if, Jason! (stomps foot) Oh!
Jason: Greetings, earthling. Hey, Michelle, look at all this cool stuff.
Jason: Awesome. The starship Sileme glides gracefully through space. Level 5 Bonsai Master Captain Manolo and his crew of botanists are headed for a distant galaxy Flowm. But what's that in the distance? Could it be? Oh, no! An intergalactic chokeberry. "Quick!" cries Captain Manolo, "Launch dry chloripheene torpedoes!" Choo-choo! (makes explosion sound effect) A direct hit! And four to six days you'll be reduced to wilted stem tissue. Hooray!
Michelle: It's Granddad! Jason, come look at this!
Michelle: Look, it's Granddad!
Jason: How do you know that's Granddad?
Michelle: Look, here's Grandmum standing in front of this cottage with him. Who else could it be?
Jason: Wow, cool telescope. I wonder where that picture was taken.
Jason: I saw it first!
Michelle: No, you didn't! I did!
Jason: No, you didn't.
Michelle: You got to try the video game first!
Jason: It didn't even work! I get to go first!
Michelle: Do not.
Jason: Stop, you're gonna break it!
Michelle: You stop.
Michelle: Okay, okay, okay. Look, I'm the oldest. I get to decide.
Jason: Huh, by five minutes? Big whoop, I saw it first.
Michelle: Well, I could decide that you could go first.
Michelle: Nah, I decided I'll go first.
Michelle: Wow. Cool.
Jason: Okay, my turn.
Michelle: Oh, no, no, no. I'm not even close to being done. You'll just have to wait your turn, quietly.
Jason: After a short lunch break, Captain Manolo and his team of botanists resume their search for a perfect bonsai breeding ground. (makes airplane noises)
Jason: (makes airplane noises)
Michelle: I can't hear you.
Jason: (makes louder airplane noises)
Jason: Huh. Michelle, the ship is flying by itself!
Michelle: Nice try, Jason.
Jason: No, really!
Zidgel: Jason T. Conrad!
Zidgel: We need your help!
Jason: You're, you're alive.
Midgel: Course we are, kid.
Midgel: It's much easier to do our jobs that way.
Zidgel: Get in here, Jason. The galaxy waits for no man.
Jason: Wha? I can't. I'm too big.
Zidgel: Ah, too big, too big. When I was your size, I was twice your size.
Zidgel: Dr. Fidgel, Galeezle him.
Fidgel: Yes, right away.
Jason: Hey! (screams) I, I, I can't believe you guys are alive.
Zidgel: Of course we are.
Midgel: Either that or you're daydreaming.
Fidgel: That's true. Sensors indicate that he could be daydreaming.
Midgel: But no time for small talk now, we've got work to do.
Jason: What about my sister? Is she coming?
Zidgel: Don't worry, she'll get her chance, but right now, you're the one that we need.
Zidgel: Alright, boys, strap yourselves in. It could be a bumpy ride.
Jason: Hi. Do you know where we're going?
Jason: Right, okay.
Zidgel: Hang on.
Michelle: You'll have to do better than that, Jason.
Zidgel: Okay, boys, I think it's time we briefed our new cadet.
Zidgel: Now listen up: I am Captain Zidgel. This is my ship. Over here, we have Dr. Fidgel.
Fidgel: How do you do?
Zidgel: This is the ship's pilot and engineer, First Officer Midgel.
Zidgel: And, um, ahem, that's, uh, Kevin.
Jason: What does he do?
Zidgel: Mostly just does that.
Jason: Okay, so, where are we going.
Fidgel: We received a report on our FAX machine that Planet Wait-Your-Turn is in crisis.
Jason: Wait a minute, you guys get your directions on a FAX machine?
Zidgel: Yes. Why?
Jason: No reason. So, what's the crisis?
Zidgel: That, we don't know. We were low on toner.
Zidgel: Let's get on with our mission, boys. Engineer Midgel, engage hyperdrive.
Midgel: Hyperdrive? We're only ten miles away, can't you read a map?
Fidgel: Perhaps if he was wearing his glasses.
Fidgel: He doesn't wear his glasses because he thinks they make him look silly.
Zidgel: That's not true! I, uh, I just don't like the red marks they make on my beak.
Zidgel: Great schools of halibut! We've been hit!
Midgel: It's alright, we're okay. We were in the correct landing pattern, but another ship got right in front of us. Clipped us with his wing.
Fidgel: How rude.
Zidgel: We'll, uh, have to report this to the local authorities.
Zidgel: Let's bring this ship down. Buckle up for landing, everyone!
Midgel: Right, here we go.
Zidgel: You can do it, Midgel.
Fidgel: Yes, we believe in you.
Midgel: Hang on!
Jason: What went wrong?
Fidgel: Wrong? That was a pretty good one! Spot on!
Midgel: Thank you very much. I thought it was rather impressive.
Zidgel: Yes, much better than the last one.
Jason: It felt like the landing gear broke off.
Zidgel: Landing gear?
Midgel: Landing gear?
Fidgel: Landing gear, you know, that's not a bad idea.
Midgel: It just might work! I think the kid's got something.
Zidgel: Landing gear? Hm, no matter, here we are.
Fidgel: Quite, and as the ship's scientist, I should go out first.
Midgel: Uh, as the ship's engineer, I should go first.
Zidgel: As captain, I'll go first.
Kevin: As Kevin, can I stay here?
Zidgel: Alright, mister, if that's your attitude, you can just go first.
Zidgel: Hey, not so fast. You can't go out dressed like that, you'll frighten the natives.
Zidgel: Come on, everyone.
Vacuum cleaner #1: Hey, buddy. You can't just cut in front of me.
Vacuum cleaner #2: I didn't just cut in front of you. I also cut in front of him, him, him, and him! And while we've been standing here, they've cut in front of us.
Midgel: Somewhat bad behavior for a planet called "Wait-Your-Turn".
Zidgel: They're all cutting in line. They're barbarians! Back to the ship!
Midgel: Woah there, Captain, remember, we've got a job to do.
Zidgel: What? Oh, yeah.
Midgel: See? Look, Kevin's started already.
Vacuum cleaner #3: Get your hands off me, you big, look, I can't wait, let me go.
Kevin: Stop it. Be nice.
Vacuum cleaner #3: (attempts to bite Kevin)
Fidgel: Excuse me, but how long is all this cutting been going on?
Vacuum cleaner #4: Oh, it all started when Prime Minister No-I'm-The-Minister took office.
Vacuum cleaner #5: (in garbled voice) Pushed his way into office, you mean.
Zidgel: I see. Well, fear not, good vacuums. We have heard your distress signal, and we are here to help.
Larry the Vacuum Cleaner: What? Oh, you're the guys from the Federation! We didn't call about the cutting in line.
Vacuum cleaner #6: We called you about the heat.
Zidgel: Heh, come to think of it, it is awfully hot out here.
Fidgel: Like a sauna.
Midgel: Like a barbecue.
Zidgel: Like someone's barbecuing in a sauna!
Vacuum cleaner #7: It's gotten so bad, we had to cancel our ice sculpture competition!
Vacuum cleaner #8: And this would have been the winning entry!
Vacuum cleaner #9: It was a swan. It was...beautiful.
Zidgel: Man. Midgel, key the satellite viewing system. Find out why it's so hot down here. (sips drink)
Midgel: Hang on. (whacks satellite viewing system) Captain, this planet is in worse trouble than we thought! It's broken out of its normal orbit, and it's trying to cut in front of the other planets in its solar system.
Fidgel: I think I know why, Captain. Sensors indicate a cutting in line bug infecting the entire planet.
Vacuum cleaner #3: Oh yeah, that's the bug that was introduced into our enviroment by Prime Minister No-I'm-The-Minister. You don't think that has something to do with all this mess, do ya?
Fidgel: It's a theory, anyway.
Midgel: And that's not all! In taking itself out of its normal orbit, the planet is now headed directly toward its sun!
Jason: Don't you people understand? Your planet is headed for the sun!
Vacuum cleaner #10: Yeah, but at least we're ahead of all the other planets. The cup is half-full, my friend.
Midgel: Why, that is good news. Captain, did you hear that? We're on the planet that's first!
Jason: (gasps) Penguins, we have to get out of here! The cutting in line bug is infecting us too!
Midgel: Nonsense! But if it is, it infected me first.
Fidgel: No, I was first.
Kevin: Me! Me!
Zidgel: You're all being ridiculous! I wanted to cut in front of you hours ago.
Jason: People! Don't you understand what happens when you get too close to the sun? You'll burn up!
Vacuum cleaner: (screaming)
Zidgel: To the ship!
Midgel: To the ship!
Vacuum cleaner #3: To the ship!
Zidgel: Me first!
Midgel: Me first!
Vacuum cleaner #3: Me first!
Jason: We're gonna die if we keep this up!
Midgel: He could be right!
Zidgel: Or it could be a clever scam so that he could go first!
Jason: Wait! Listen to me! We need to learn to wait our turns. To let someone else go first now and then. It's called patience. It's a virtue.
Zidgel: I couldn't agree more! That's why you should wait your turn!
Jason: No, no. Oh, what was that verse? Um, "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick tempered man displays folly."
Vacuum cleaner #11: What's folly?
Jason: Foolishness. Trouble. Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble! Like getting burned up by the sun. Now, the consequences are not always so extreme, but good things come to those who wait.
Zidgel: So, what do we do?
Jason: After you.
Vacuum cleaners: (gasp)
(planet screeches to a halt)
Jason: What happened?
Vacuum cleaner #12: You, you told someone else to go first. We haven't heard that since the line started. (sucks up dust bunny)
Fidgel: Jason, you've destroyed the cutting in line bug.
Midgel: Not only that, but the planet is returning to its normal orbit!
Vacuum cleaners: (cheer)
Kevin: (eats dust bunny, then spits it out)
Vacuum cleaner #13: Attention, everyone. Prime Minister No-I'm-The-Minister was at the front of the line when the planet abruptly stopped.
Fidgel: Where is he now?
Vacuum cleaner #13: He was last seen hurling through space. Over, over there!
Prime Minister No-I'm-The-Minister: (screaming)
Vacuum cleaner #13: He is succeeded by Prime Minister After-You.
Prime Minister After-You: Hello, citizens. As my first act in office, I would like to officially thank Jason and his penguin friends for saving our beloved planet.
Vacuum cleaners: Yay!
Jason: Mr Minister, I have to ask. What was so important that everyone was cutting in line to see.
Prime Minister After-You: Why, our telescope, Jason. We've discovered the most bizarre creature who appears to be spying on us.
Zidgel: Well, looks like our work here is done. Penguins, let's pack it up.
Jason: Goodbye, everyone!
Vacuum cleaners: Goodbye!
Midgel: You know, I really like that whole landing gear idea. I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Jason: Yeah? Do you think you can build it?
Midgel: No job's too hard when you use your head. Right, Jason?
Zidgel: Stardate, uh...help me out here, Kevin, I'm having a little trouble reading the star calendar.
Kevin: Uh, Wednesday.
Zidgel: Stardate Wednesday. Mission accomplished. Planet Wait-Your-Turn is safe and sound, thanks to Jason's amazing display of patience.
Jason: I couldn't have done it without you guys.
Fidgel: You really don't get this whole daydreaming thing, do you?
Michelle: I'm not quite finished yet.
Jason: Don't worry about it, I'll look when you're done.
Grandmum: Alright, bugs, time to turn the lights out. Don't forget your prayers.
Michelle: Dear God, thank you for mum and dad.
Jason: And keep them safe on their trip.
Michelle: Thank you for Grandmum and her cottage.
Jason: And for the really cool spaceship in the attic.
Michelle: And for the telescope that I got to use first.
Jason: And thank you for helping me learn to be patient, but please teach Michelle something next time.
Jason and Michelle: Amen.
(spaceship flies off outside cottage)